Public speaking can be a rewarding experience that allows individuals to showcase their skills or knowledge in a public forum. Public speaking opportunities can allow an individual to help enrich the lives of anyone in the audience by impressing experiences or information that can have life changing qualities.
That being said, many individuals suffer extreme shyness or nervousness when faced with public speaking situations. These situations can range from large audiences of hundreds or thousands of participants to rooms with a few people present. Regardless of the situation, ensuring you have the proper level of public speaking self confidence will aid you remarkably in this foray.
When it comes to public speaking, possessing self confidence is a must. If you find your self confidence low or nonexistent, the best way to boost it up is to practice, practice, practice. Individuals with high self confidence have an ingrained sense that they can handle any and all situations, regardless who is watching or listening. These individuals are well versed in their specific subject matter and have a good idea of how they are going to present the information so that the audience will have the greatest understanding.
Additionally, these individuals are capable of fielding questions on their particular subject and can explain the topic on several different levels. If you find yourself unable to do this, begin preparing for your public speaking opportunity at once. Ensure your knowledge in the topic is high and seek out to learn as much as you can. This knowledge will help you indefinitely in both planning your speech and delivering the speech to an audience of individuals who may or may not be familiar with it.
Furthermore, in depth knowledge of your subject will aid you immensely when dealing with question and answer sessions that most likely will follow any public speaking opportunity. If necessary, ask other individuals about your topic and be able to explain the topic to individuals of all levels.
When writing your speech, take care to analyze your audience. If you are speaking to individuals who have a great understanding of the topic, you can clearly use a more in depth approach, more acronyms, and more jargon than if speaking to an audience unfamiliar with the subject.
Furthermore, know the average age and educational extent of your audience in order to create a speech that will speak directly to these individuals. After you have written your speech, being making notes and prompts to that use can use when giving your speech in public. Knowing your speech is written to the best of your ability will boost your self confidence, as will having the necessary notes and prompts that you can rely on while giving your speech.
When preparing for your speech, take care to not memorize the content. This may seem like a good idea, but can lead to disasterous results. If you find yourself to be nervous before you present any project or speech to a public audience, you might forget the content of your speech and be forced to pull it together from memory.
Additionally, if you leave out a specific idea or topic from your speech, your audience may not clearly understand the topic of point of your presentation. The best way to prepare for your speech is to make notes that allow cues or special points you should make in your speech. Have a general idea of what you plan to say and ensure the content covers these points.
Also, have any visual materials carefully arranged in the order of presentation so that you will remember to include all items seamlessly in your presentation. Public speaking should not produce a crisis, and ensuring your self confidence is high in yourself and your capabilities will make all the difference in the quality of your presentation.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Obstacles in Building Self-Confidence
Know what’s holding you back.
It’s great that you have decided to build your self-confidence. However, there are a few obstacles that can keep you from achieving your goal. Most of the time, these obstacles are so obvious that they do not seem like obstacles at all, and all you can see is that your resolve to be self-confident is not taking you anywhere. Therefore, it is important to become aware of these seemingly harmless obstacles that have all the power to stop you in your path. Let’s have a look at what could be the reasons that you are not moving ahead in top gear.
Are you undisciplined?
Some people simply have the talent to waste a lot of time without realizing it. They lack the self-discipline to stop their actions that waste time. Imagine a situation wherein you have a list of tasks to be completed successfully as a part of your confidence building program.
However, the moment you enter your home you involuntarily grab the remote and start channel surfing on the idiot box. It’s only after an hour that you realize that you have been vegetating in front of the T.V in the time you had scheduled to do other tasks. You realize that you have already disturbed your schedule. In a self-development program, it’s you and only you who has the power to change yourself. Nobody will come to monitor your actions and progress. You have to keep a watch on your inner graph and see to it that it goes up! Avoid temptations and stick to your schedule.
Are you lazy and keep procrastinating?
Procrastination is one of the greatest and most silent killers of confidence. It does not let you complete your jobs and tasks in time; things keep mounting and finally you get overwhelmed by all the many things that have piled up and need your attention. The very basics of building confidence start with listing little things that are doable. You gain more confidence to take on greater tasks and responsibilities by successfully completing the lighter tasks at hand.
However not being prompt and delaying important things till they become urgent makes you miss the opportunity of working on your confidence and puts you in danger of falling back again into your earlier cycle, thereby wasting all the effort and energy you had put in to becoming aware of your low confidence trap and getting out of it.
Does your old self keep pulling you back?
Assume. Assume. Assume is the technique here. Assume that you are a different person with habits you wanted to inculcate. Imagine the way you would like to be. Imagine a self-confident you taking things in your stride. Then try to bring into your daily actions the way you have imagined yourself to be. “I dream by painting. Then I paint my dream” was the technique what the great painter Vincent Van Gogh followed. Your assumed self will make people react to you in a different way, according to your new self.
This will establish your new self to the world and will help you keep up the new self before it becomes a habit – a second nature! If you behave indecisively and helplessly, you will invoke proportionate reactions from people around you, thereby reinforcing your previous self. This throws you back again. Remember that you cannot get ahead if you keep looking back. Realize this and stop sliding back.
Don’t copy self-confidence. Do not try to become like someone else.
One of the greatest mistakes that people make when trying to increase their low self-confidence is falling in love with an image of their icon who may be a sport star or a film star or any celebrity and then they try to be like them. This is one of the greatest mistakes that people can commit when trying in increase their self-confidence.
You have to be yourself at all costs. Getting inspired is wonderful but merely aping these guys won’t take you anywhere. There is no need for any two people in this universe to be exactly the same. The challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else!
It’s great that you have decided to build your self-confidence. However, there are a few obstacles that can keep you from achieving your goal. Most of the time, these obstacles are so obvious that they do not seem like obstacles at all, and all you can see is that your resolve to be self-confident is not taking you anywhere. Therefore, it is important to become aware of these seemingly harmless obstacles that have all the power to stop you in your path. Let’s have a look at what could be the reasons that you are not moving ahead in top gear.
Are you undisciplined?
Some people simply have the talent to waste a lot of time without realizing it. They lack the self-discipline to stop their actions that waste time. Imagine a situation wherein you have a list of tasks to be completed successfully as a part of your confidence building program.
However, the moment you enter your home you involuntarily grab the remote and start channel surfing on the idiot box. It’s only after an hour that you realize that you have been vegetating in front of the T.V in the time you had scheduled to do other tasks. You realize that you have already disturbed your schedule. In a self-development program, it’s you and only you who has the power to change yourself. Nobody will come to monitor your actions and progress. You have to keep a watch on your inner graph and see to it that it goes up! Avoid temptations and stick to your schedule.
Are you lazy and keep procrastinating?
Procrastination is one of the greatest and most silent killers of confidence. It does not let you complete your jobs and tasks in time; things keep mounting and finally you get overwhelmed by all the many things that have piled up and need your attention. The very basics of building confidence start with listing little things that are doable. You gain more confidence to take on greater tasks and responsibilities by successfully completing the lighter tasks at hand.
However not being prompt and delaying important things till they become urgent makes you miss the opportunity of working on your confidence and puts you in danger of falling back again into your earlier cycle, thereby wasting all the effort and energy you had put in to becoming aware of your low confidence trap and getting out of it.
Does your old self keep pulling you back?
Assume. Assume. Assume is the technique here. Assume that you are a different person with habits you wanted to inculcate. Imagine the way you would like to be. Imagine a self-confident you taking things in your stride. Then try to bring into your daily actions the way you have imagined yourself to be. “I dream by painting. Then I paint my dream” was the technique what the great painter Vincent Van Gogh followed. Your assumed self will make people react to you in a different way, according to your new self.
This will establish your new self to the world and will help you keep up the new self before it becomes a habit – a second nature! If you behave indecisively and helplessly, you will invoke proportionate reactions from people around you, thereby reinforcing your previous self. This throws you back again. Remember that you cannot get ahead if you keep looking back. Realize this and stop sliding back.
Don’t copy self-confidence. Do not try to become like someone else.
One of the greatest mistakes that people make when trying to increase their low self-confidence is falling in love with an image of their icon who may be a sport star or a film star or any celebrity and then they try to be like them. This is one of the greatest mistakes that people can commit when trying in increase their self-confidence.
You have to be yourself at all costs. Getting inspired is wonderful but merely aping these guys won’t take you anywhere. There is no need for any two people in this universe to be exactly the same. The challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else!
Monday, October 15, 2007
Key to Interview Success: Self Confidence
Searching for employment is one of the stressful times in anyone’s life. The process of preparing a resume, finding the perfect job, and completing an interview may send even the soundest individual into a panic attack. Whereas a resume presents your abilities and experiences on paper, an interview represents you in the first person.
The pressure to present yourself in the best light possible in a short, controlled environment is exceptional, so it is key to keep an air of self confidence during this time. Although there is a fine line between self confidence and arrogance, a prospective employee that enters an interview poised and put together already has an edge on the competition.
Dressing for success is not just a time worn cliché. Individuals who show up to an interview in a thoughtful, put-together outfit will best convey the immediate sense of self confidence. When choosing an interview outfit, carefully consider both the employer and the job opportunity.
Match your clothing to the mood of the office is a must. If you are interviewing for a position in a conservative law firm, consider conservative attire. However, if you are interviewing at an up-start internet company, you may want to rethink conservative attire. Regardless of the individual items you choose to wear, ensuring they are clean, smartly pressed, and well tailored will make all the difference.
In addition to your dress, you should ensure your personal appearance reflects that of a potential employee. For those individuals with physical forms of self-expression, i.e. piercings, tattoos, or extreme dyed hair, you may find interviewers have difficulty getting past your initial appearance.
Before you begin the interview process, take time to review the company’s specific rules regarding appearance. Ensuring your presence is neat will lend to your air of self confidence and appeal to your prospective employer. Take time to evaluate your appearance. Do you need a haircut? Are your nails neatly trimmed and clean? Make all necessary appointments a day or two before your interview.
Of course a potential employer is not just looking for an individual with a put-together outfit and a clean, neatly appearance. Employers are looking for individuals who have the capacity to successfully complete the job at hand. Whatever the job, affiliate yourself with the requirements necessary to fulfill the task. You will soon find that when you are confident in the task, you will exude self confidence and positively influence the interview.
Create a list of potential questions an employer may ask in an interview setting. These questions can relate to your educational background, previous work experience, or your capability to handle the specific job. Once you have created this list, prepare your responses to these questions. Ask a friend or family member to pose as a mock interviewer in order to better prepare you for the actual interview.
Your actions during the interview can also affect the overall outcome. Individuals who possess a great deal of self confidence walk with their head held high, make eye contact, and have firm handshakes. Self confident individuals do not fidget, pull on their clothing, or make movements with their feet. Furthermore, you should take care to speak of your positive attributes and not focus on your negatives or weaknesses.
Be careful not to brag or boast about your current position, educational background, social status, or work experiences. Again, there is a fine line between self confidence and arrogance, and few employers wish to add an arrogant individual to a team of employees. Instead, focus on how your positive aspects can best benefit the job, team, and company. However you choose to tackle your job interview, remember to bring your best attitude and self confidence.
The pressure to present yourself in the best light possible in a short, controlled environment is exceptional, so it is key to keep an air of self confidence during this time. Although there is a fine line between self confidence and arrogance, a prospective employee that enters an interview poised and put together already has an edge on the competition.
Dressing for success is not just a time worn cliché. Individuals who show up to an interview in a thoughtful, put-together outfit will best convey the immediate sense of self confidence. When choosing an interview outfit, carefully consider both the employer and the job opportunity.
Match your clothing to the mood of the office is a must. If you are interviewing for a position in a conservative law firm, consider conservative attire. However, if you are interviewing at an up-start internet company, you may want to rethink conservative attire. Regardless of the individual items you choose to wear, ensuring they are clean, smartly pressed, and well tailored will make all the difference.
In addition to your dress, you should ensure your personal appearance reflects that of a potential employee. For those individuals with physical forms of self-expression, i.e. piercings, tattoos, or extreme dyed hair, you may find interviewers have difficulty getting past your initial appearance.
Before you begin the interview process, take time to review the company’s specific rules regarding appearance. Ensuring your presence is neat will lend to your air of self confidence and appeal to your prospective employer. Take time to evaluate your appearance. Do you need a haircut? Are your nails neatly trimmed and clean? Make all necessary appointments a day or two before your interview.
Of course a potential employer is not just looking for an individual with a put-together outfit and a clean, neatly appearance. Employers are looking for individuals who have the capacity to successfully complete the job at hand. Whatever the job, affiliate yourself with the requirements necessary to fulfill the task. You will soon find that when you are confident in the task, you will exude self confidence and positively influence the interview.
Create a list of potential questions an employer may ask in an interview setting. These questions can relate to your educational background, previous work experience, or your capability to handle the specific job. Once you have created this list, prepare your responses to these questions. Ask a friend or family member to pose as a mock interviewer in order to better prepare you for the actual interview.
Your actions during the interview can also affect the overall outcome. Individuals who possess a great deal of self confidence walk with their head held high, make eye contact, and have firm handshakes. Self confident individuals do not fidget, pull on their clothing, or make movements with their feet. Furthermore, you should take care to speak of your positive attributes and not focus on your negatives or weaknesses.
Be careful not to brag or boast about your current position, educational background, social status, or work experiences. Again, there is a fine line between self confidence and arrogance, and few employers wish to add an arrogant individual to a team of employees. Instead, focus on how your positive aspects can best benefit the job, team, and company. However you choose to tackle your job interview, remember to bring your best attitude and self confidence.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Improving Your Teen’s Self-Esteem
The teenage years are often the most difficult time of childhood. During this time, children are blossoming into adults and struggle to determine the individual identity. It is no shock the teen years are the most dreaded by parents, but these fragile youngsters are at a critical time in their lives.
Often, boundaries are pushed and rules are stretched by a teenager yearning to take that “next step” into adulthood. Teens find themselves not only faced with emotional transitions, but also physical changes. In the midst of these physical and emotional evolutions, a teen’s self-esteem can be compromised. Parents can take certain steps in order to ensure that a child’s self-esteem is not affected by the turbulent teenage years.
The best way to improve your teen’s self-esteem is to take an active role in your child’s life. By knowing his or her interests, friends, strengths, and weaknesses, you will be aware of any problems that may arise. Starting from a young age, instill a positive attitude in your child.
Children who have a great sense of self-worth are more apt to blossom into teenagers with a great sense of self-worth. Take time to talk with your teen instead of talking to your teen. If your child believes his or her opinion or thoughts have an impact in the home front, that individual is more apt to have a greater self-esteem. Allowing your teen to have a say in decisions that affect the entire family will further impress a sense of self-worth, thus positively affect his or her self-esteem.
Children learn by example, and teenagers are no different. Teens whose parents showcase high self-esteem are more likely to exhibit self-esteem. Conversely, parents with low self-esteem or who constantly question their self-worth will pass those traits on to their children simply by their actions. The way you interact with your friends, family members, and colleagues will rub off on your children.
Individuals with low self-esteem set poor examples for their teens and should not be surprised when their teens exhibit similar actions. Children are like a sponge, so take care not to comment negatively towards yourself or others. Many teens with issues regarding their physical appearance learn these behaviors from home. Television, movies, and music play a huge part in any teenager’s life. These outlets seem obsessed with a pre-conceived idea of perfection that will most likely differ from that of the average individual. Take time to speak with your teen regarding these issues.
Interaction with your teenager will allow you first-hand information on any problems he or she may be having and make an attempt to remedy these situations. Often, teenagers are quite sensitive about their appearance due to acne or other issues. If this is the case, consider making an appointment with a dermatologist who will be able to remedy the situation.
Similarly, your teen may be interested in changing his or her appearance to best fit a burgeoning identity, but may be hesitant to approach a parent. Remember, teenagers straddle the line between child and young adult. Although they may yearn to be an adult, the child part still needs reassurance from a parent. If you as a parent feel a requested physical transformation will not benefit your teen, make a compromise. Often, teens are looking to be outrageous in order to push boundaries set by parents. Instead of lowering your teen’s self-esteem by creating a confrontation, create an atmosphere of discussion and compromise.
Open communication cannot be stressed enough. Take time to talk to your teen about their friends, classes, activities, or interests. Teach your teen to accentuate the positive instead of focusing on attributes they see as weak or negative. Instill a sense great self esteem at a young age that will continue with your teen as he or she grows. You may wish to enroll your child in self-esteem building classes or extra curricular activities that will boost their self-worth. Whatever the case, taking an active part in your teen’s life is the best way to see them through this transitional time in their lives with their self-esteem intact.
Often, boundaries are pushed and rules are stretched by a teenager yearning to take that “next step” into adulthood. Teens find themselves not only faced with emotional transitions, but also physical changes. In the midst of these physical and emotional evolutions, a teen’s self-esteem can be compromised. Parents can take certain steps in order to ensure that a child’s self-esteem is not affected by the turbulent teenage years.
The best way to improve your teen’s self-esteem is to take an active role in your child’s life. By knowing his or her interests, friends, strengths, and weaknesses, you will be aware of any problems that may arise. Starting from a young age, instill a positive attitude in your child.
Children who have a great sense of self-worth are more apt to blossom into teenagers with a great sense of self-worth. Take time to talk with your teen instead of talking to your teen. If your child believes his or her opinion or thoughts have an impact in the home front, that individual is more apt to have a greater self-esteem. Allowing your teen to have a say in decisions that affect the entire family will further impress a sense of self-worth, thus positively affect his or her self-esteem.
Children learn by example, and teenagers are no different. Teens whose parents showcase high self-esteem are more likely to exhibit self-esteem. Conversely, parents with low self-esteem or who constantly question their self-worth will pass those traits on to their children simply by their actions. The way you interact with your friends, family members, and colleagues will rub off on your children.
Individuals with low self-esteem set poor examples for their teens and should not be surprised when their teens exhibit similar actions. Children are like a sponge, so take care not to comment negatively towards yourself or others. Many teens with issues regarding their physical appearance learn these behaviors from home. Television, movies, and music play a huge part in any teenager’s life. These outlets seem obsessed with a pre-conceived idea of perfection that will most likely differ from that of the average individual. Take time to speak with your teen regarding these issues.
Interaction with your teenager will allow you first-hand information on any problems he or she may be having and make an attempt to remedy these situations. Often, teenagers are quite sensitive about their appearance due to acne or other issues. If this is the case, consider making an appointment with a dermatologist who will be able to remedy the situation.
Similarly, your teen may be interested in changing his or her appearance to best fit a burgeoning identity, but may be hesitant to approach a parent. Remember, teenagers straddle the line between child and young adult. Although they may yearn to be an adult, the child part still needs reassurance from a parent. If you as a parent feel a requested physical transformation will not benefit your teen, make a compromise. Often, teens are looking to be outrageous in order to push boundaries set by parents. Instead of lowering your teen’s self-esteem by creating a confrontation, create an atmosphere of discussion and compromise.
Open communication cannot be stressed enough. Take time to talk to your teen about their friends, classes, activities, or interests. Teach your teen to accentuate the positive instead of focusing on attributes they see as weak or negative. Instill a sense great self esteem at a young age that will continue with your teen as he or she grows. You may wish to enroll your child in self-esteem building classes or extra curricular activities that will boost their self-worth. Whatever the case, taking an active part in your teen’s life is the best way to see them through this transitional time in their lives with their self-esteem intact.
Monday, August 6, 2007
How to Imbue Self-Confidence in Children
It is very rightly said that what your child does at 13 very much decides what he will be doing at 30. If he learns to hold his head high no matter what comes, he will certainly sow seeds of happiness, success and prosperity that he can reap when he becomes an adult. It is the duty of every parent to create a atmosphere where a child can learn to be self-confident, responsible and courageous. Believe in the ability of your child, encourage him to take initiative and you will be amazed to see what he can do!
Be self-confident as a parent
Children learn by imitating adults, and as parents are the ones who stay the most with the child, the child gets to become like his parents. A self-confident behavior on part of the parent unconsciously establishes self-confident nature as a life skills of the child. A child is a great observer. So much so that it has been said that a child is the father of man!
Observation makes the first half of learning while doing makes the second half. So if he observes you staying idle, not completing your tasks in time, getting confused at the last hour and the resulting fights and bouts of your temper, he might never know the right way to handle situations. He will also be struggling with devils like procrastination and indiscipline.
Give time to your baby
Spending time with your baby is very important. It may be very tempting to put the baby in a daycare and carry on with your day-to-day activities as a parent. You may have an excuse that, after all, you are working so that you can earn and all your earning is for none other than the child.
However, what your child needs is you and your time. His treasures are the games you play with him, the long walks you take him to, the way you help in his studies, and the way you tell him what he means to you. This imbues a sense of security in the child that makes him automatically confident. He knows that he has nothing to worry about. Once your child gets strong and self-confident, he won’t need your money, as he will have the aptitude and strength to go out and earn for himself. As the old proverb goes, give a fish to a man and you take care of him for one day. Teach a man how to fish and you take care of him for a lifetime. That is how it must be!
Be a loveable family
The best thing a man can do for his child is to love his mother. Yes. Nothing works better. Children are the worst sufferers should there be any troubles between you and your spouse. These little souls are too sensitive and your yelling at each other cuts deep in his heart and puts lasting scars. A baby is a gift, the most amazing thing nature can gift you - he is your blood. Make sure you take care of him. Love is the most essential thing of all, for in a home where there is love can happiness and prosperity be far behind?
Have faith in your child
As parents, you may have many concerns about the safety and security of your child, but make sure you don’t overprotect your child. You cannot be everywhere for him and it’s he himself who has to learn to make his mark in this world. Faith is the best encouragement. To be trusted is sometimes an even greater compliment that being loved.
Trust your child and give him small tasks to complete. Nothing is as grand for a child than being given the responsibility to handle a task. He feels honored. His self-worth increases. Guide him to complete task successfully and soon he will have his unique way of doing things. Nature gave him the wings of imagination. Don’t clip them. Encourage him and let him fly.
Be self-confident as a parent
Children learn by imitating adults, and as parents are the ones who stay the most with the child, the child gets to become like his parents. A self-confident behavior on part of the parent unconsciously establishes self-confident nature as a life skills of the child. A child is a great observer. So much so that it has been said that a child is the father of man!
Observation makes the first half of learning while doing makes the second half. So if he observes you staying idle, not completing your tasks in time, getting confused at the last hour and the resulting fights and bouts of your temper, he might never know the right way to handle situations. He will also be struggling with devils like procrastination and indiscipline.
Give time to your baby
Spending time with your baby is very important. It may be very tempting to put the baby in a daycare and carry on with your day-to-day activities as a parent. You may have an excuse that, after all, you are working so that you can earn and all your earning is for none other than the child.
However, what your child needs is you and your time. His treasures are the games you play with him, the long walks you take him to, the way you help in his studies, and the way you tell him what he means to you. This imbues a sense of security in the child that makes him automatically confident. He knows that he has nothing to worry about. Once your child gets strong and self-confident, he won’t need your money, as he will have the aptitude and strength to go out and earn for himself. As the old proverb goes, give a fish to a man and you take care of him for one day. Teach a man how to fish and you take care of him for a lifetime. That is how it must be!
Be a loveable family
The best thing a man can do for his child is to love his mother. Yes. Nothing works better. Children are the worst sufferers should there be any troubles between you and your spouse. These little souls are too sensitive and your yelling at each other cuts deep in his heart and puts lasting scars. A baby is a gift, the most amazing thing nature can gift you - he is your blood. Make sure you take care of him. Love is the most essential thing of all, for in a home where there is love can happiness and prosperity be far behind?
Have faith in your child
As parents, you may have many concerns about the safety and security of your child, but make sure you don’t overprotect your child. You cannot be everywhere for him and it’s he himself who has to learn to make his mark in this world. Faith is the best encouragement. To be trusted is sometimes an even greater compliment that being loved.
Trust your child and give him small tasks to complete. Nothing is as grand for a child than being given the responsibility to handle a task. He feels honored. His self-worth increases. Guide him to complete task successfully and soon he will have his unique way of doing things. Nature gave him the wings of imagination. Don’t clip them. Encourage him and let him fly.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Build Your Self Confidence
Learn to accept yourself
The very first step is to accept yourself – lovingly. No person in the world in perfect so why bother and shed tears over your imperfectness. This is how God wanted us to be – Imperfect! We might have something that someone else may lack and someone else might be endowed with the qualities, which we lack.
This incompleteness makes us go out and seek companions who make us feel loved, wanted and complete. Oh what a great feeling! Would we experience it if we were inside the cocoon of our perfection? Never! So accept yourself the way you are. It will free your mind of a heavy baggage of unnecessary worries. You will instantly feel light and cheerful.
Liberate yourself - Go out and do what you like!
How long it has been since you last went to have a walk among the pines – something that you loved as a child? How long has it been when you walked hand in hand with your friend to the bakery and tossed a coin to decide what to buy? These might seem very simple things but these simple things have the power to add on to build great confidence and fulfilment.
Life if see is actually quite simple. What gets a bit too complex though is to remain simple. Isn’t it? Just as small drops of water make the mighty ocean, the little things you enjoy doing have the capability to turn you into a storehouse of confidence. When God made you, He put a desire in your heart and bestowed onto you the capability to achieve it.
However, in the process of growing up, you forgot what exactly was your purpose, what is that you liked and what is that you enjoyed doing. It does happen with lots and lots of people who do feel like breaking free but are too tied up in their day to day responsibilities that it gets impossible for them to spare even 10 minutes to reflect on their lives, their direction, their dreams and goals. It’s our duty to clear the mess that prevents us from hearing to our heart.
The conversations with your heart should keep getting clearer and the best way to do it is to find time to do what you enjoy. And since you enjoy doing that activity, it straightaway means that you have all the aptitude and intelligence necessary to do the job effortlessly even though you may not realize it.
Find your flock
Birds of a feather flock together. You must find out people with whom you enjoy being. They are certainly the people of your frequency and the energy flow between you and them is natural.
Life becomes easy when you are among the people who are more or less on the same plane of thought as you and it’s easier to relate to them. They seem to understand you and vice versa thus creating conditions for healthy conversations. A good conversation is a very healthy exercise and an important need of our mind. We all want our ideas to be heard and appreciated and a good company provides platform for the same.
Set Achievable Goals and Go for it!
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The idea is to begin with a small single step that can then further developed into giant strides. Learn to do the work at hand rather than to overwhelm oneself by looking at the entirety of a mammoth looking task. Just like the soil underneath your foot, the top of mountain too would someday be under your step.
The only way to do something is to Go For It! No matter how small the progress is the focus should be on completing a task successfully even though it’s a small task. A series of big uncompleted task is a sure shot way to depression. Break a big task into a list of small tasks to be completed. Tick off from your list each job successfully completed. A completed task no matter how small it is gives a sense of achievement that boosts our confidence and equips us with more energy to try a bigger task.
The very first step is to accept yourself – lovingly. No person in the world in perfect so why bother and shed tears over your imperfectness. This is how God wanted us to be – Imperfect! We might have something that someone else may lack and someone else might be endowed with the qualities, which we lack.
This incompleteness makes us go out and seek companions who make us feel loved, wanted and complete. Oh what a great feeling! Would we experience it if we were inside the cocoon of our perfection? Never! So accept yourself the way you are. It will free your mind of a heavy baggage of unnecessary worries. You will instantly feel light and cheerful.
Liberate yourself - Go out and do what you like!
How long it has been since you last went to have a walk among the pines – something that you loved as a child? How long has it been when you walked hand in hand with your friend to the bakery and tossed a coin to decide what to buy? These might seem very simple things but these simple things have the power to add on to build great confidence and fulfilment.
Life if see is actually quite simple. What gets a bit too complex though is to remain simple. Isn’t it? Just as small drops of water make the mighty ocean, the little things you enjoy doing have the capability to turn you into a storehouse of confidence. When God made you, He put a desire in your heart and bestowed onto you the capability to achieve it.
However, in the process of growing up, you forgot what exactly was your purpose, what is that you liked and what is that you enjoyed doing. It does happen with lots and lots of people who do feel like breaking free but are too tied up in their day to day responsibilities that it gets impossible for them to spare even 10 minutes to reflect on their lives, their direction, their dreams and goals. It’s our duty to clear the mess that prevents us from hearing to our heart.
The conversations with your heart should keep getting clearer and the best way to do it is to find time to do what you enjoy. And since you enjoy doing that activity, it straightaway means that you have all the aptitude and intelligence necessary to do the job effortlessly even though you may not realize it.
Find your flock
Birds of a feather flock together. You must find out people with whom you enjoy being. They are certainly the people of your frequency and the energy flow between you and them is natural.
Life becomes easy when you are among the people who are more or less on the same plane of thought as you and it’s easier to relate to them. They seem to understand you and vice versa thus creating conditions for healthy conversations. A good conversation is a very healthy exercise and an important need of our mind. We all want our ideas to be heard and appreciated and a good company provides platform for the same.
Set Achievable Goals and Go for it!
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The idea is to begin with a small single step that can then further developed into giant strides. Learn to do the work at hand rather than to overwhelm oneself by looking at the entirety of a mammoth looking task. Just like the soil underneath your foot, the top of mountain too would someday be under your step.
The only way to do something is to Go For It! No matter how small the progress is the focus should be on completing a task successfully even though it’s a small task. A series of big uncompleted task is a sure shot way to depression. Break a big task into a list of small tasks to be completed. Tick off from your list each job successfully completed. A completed task no matter how small it is gives a sense of achievement that boosts our confidence and equips us with more energy to try a bigger task.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
How Self Confidence Makes Students Bright
Self-confidence comes handy in all situations of life. Be it an adult or a child or a student, everybody has lots of tasks to complete and self-confidence is necessary to perform tasks successfully. Take the case of school-going children. With so many subjects, they go through a lot of stress. Class tests, debates, term papers, assignments, presentations…the list seems unending.
Having ample self-confidence helps students undergo the stress of school and college education, thereby making a strong foundation to build their future. What is seen as the most important factor that determines the performance of students in school is neither intellect, nor energy or talent. What is? You guessed it right – it is the amount of self-confidence a student has which decides how much he will be able to use his talent, energy and intellect! Let’s see how self confidence makes students soar higher
Self-confident students make the most of the classroom
Self-confident students are able to pay more attention to the teacher in the classroom as they develop an inherent will to succeed and outdo others. They are more focused and do not hesitate to ask questions. Asking questions in the classroom requires certain courage to stand up and interrupt the teacher to ask a question, and it requires self-confidence to do that.
On the other hand, a student lacking self-confidence might not stand up and ask the teacher to explain once more even though he is struggling to get a concept right. This creates obstacles to their learning, as many things remain unclear to them that require further guidance by the teacher.
They make lot of pals
Self-confident students make lot of pals and engage themselves in subject discussions with classmates. This kind of involvement keeps them abreast of the latest, and also acts as a platform to judge their knowledge as compared to other fellow students. Discussions also bring various viewpoints to the forefront in a common place, thereby enriching everyone by giving a multi-angle view of the topic. Self-confident students therefore gain manifold advantages as compared to other students.
Being in a group also help them know about the latest in the field of education, the latest learning software, a certain book which contains a lot of practice questions, an interactive CD recently released, an invite-only seminar on career guidance, scholarship tests of various universities, fee discount on certain courses and so on which keeps them aware of the opportunities ahead and help them tailor their efforts for specific targets while other students keep aloof and depend on whatever they can gather in a single handed way.
They are able to maintain calm while answering questions, therefore making fewer mistakes
It is very important for students to know that their result score depends upon what they write and not upon what they are. No matter how great a genius a student is, he is awarded marks on the basis of what he writes in the answer sheet at the time of examination. A little nervousness, hesitation, and lack of self-belief can let confusion descend and make it difficult for him to tackle even the simplest of questions. A confident student, however, is able to keep his calm and is able to answer questions he has not really prepared for! Such is the magic of self-confidence!
Success attracts success
The marks of term papers, applause during presentations, appreciation from teachers and the opposite sex (don’t neglect this great confidence booster!) boost confidence to help students perform even better in the final exams. Once appreciated, these students immediately get an edge over other students and close competitors and get the ball in their court. The one who has tasted appreciation and acceptance craves it even more. These students will work harder to remain in the limelight. Success, hence, becomes a habit for these students. And why not, they have the greatest weapon to take on their opponents – their self-confidence!
Having ample self-confidence helps students undergo the stress of school and college education, thereby making a strong foundation to build their future. What is seen as the most important factor that determines the performance of students in school is neither intellect, nor energy or talent. What is? You guessed it right – it is the amount of self-confidence a student has which decides how much he will be able to use his talent, energy and intellect! Let’s see how self confidence makes students soar higher
Self-confident students make the most of the classroom
Self-confident students are able to pay more attention to the teacher in the classroom as they develop an inherent will to succeed and outdo others. They are more focused and do not hesitate to ask questions. Asking questions in the classroom requires certain courage to stand up and interrupt the teacher to ask a question, and it requires self-confidence to do that.
On the other hand, a student lacking self-confidence might not stand up and ask the teacher to explain once more even though he is struggling to get a concept right. This creates obstacles to their learning, as many things remain unclear to them that require further guidance by the teacher.
They make lot of pals
Self-confident students make lot of pals and engage themselves in subject discussions with classmates. This kind of involvement keeps them abreast of the latest, and also acts as a platform to judge their knowledge as compared to other fellow students. Discussions also bring various viewpoints to the forefront in a common place, thereby enriching everyone by giving a multi-angle view of the topic. Self-confident students therefore gain manifold advantages as compared to other students.
Being in a group also help them know about the latest in the field of education, the latest learning software, a certain book which contains a lot of practice questions, an interactive CD recently released, an invite-only seminar on career guidance, scholarship tests of various universities, fee discount on certain courses and so on which keeps them aware of the opportunities ahead and help them tailor their efforts for specific targets while other students keep aloof and depend on whatever they can gather in a single handed way.
They are able to maintain calm while answering questions, therefore making fewer mistakes
It is very important for students to know that their result score depends upon what they write and not upon what they are. No matter how great a genius a student is, he is awarded marks on the basis of what he writes in the answer sheet at the time of examination. A little nervousness, hesitation, and lack of self-belief can let confusion descend and make it difficult for him to tackle even the simplest of questions. A confident student, however, is able to keep his calm and is able to answer questions he has not really prepared for! Such is the magic of self-confidence!
Success attracts success
The marks of term papers, applause during presentations, appreciation from teachers and the opposite sex (don’t neglect this great confidence booster!) boost confidence to help students perform even better in the final exams. Once appreciated, these students immediately get an edge over other students and close competitors and get the ball in their court. The one who has tasted appreciation and acceptance craves it even more. These students will work harder to remain in the limelight. Success, hence, becomes a habit for these students. And why not, they have the greatest weapon to take on their opponents – their self-confidence!
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Ensure Your Child Has the Self Confidence to Succeed
Self confidence is an excellent attribute that can help a child succeed from an early age. Instilling self confidence at an early age will enforce the importance of possessing the necessity of this attribute and ensure your child will experience success early on is his or her life.
Low self confidence can be exhibited in many ways depending on your child. There are many cues to look for that can tell if you child is beginning to lose or experiencing low self confidence. These cues can by extreme shyness, hesitance to begin projects, negative attitudes towards him or herself, overt frustration at having to try new things, and inability or fear when it comes to making even the simplest decision.
Parents can begin teaching self confidence immediately after their child is born. Provide endless encouragement when your child is developing new skills or trying new things. Young children especially need encouragement since they are continuing to develop new skills on a daily basis.
Whether physical or mental, these important developmental times can range from your child taking his or her first steps to learning to read. Each step in your child’s development is exceedingly important and, in order to be completed as soon as possible, should be thoroughly reinforced in a positive manner. This positive reinforcement will encourage your child to work harder in completing the task at hand.
Teachers can teach self confidence from the moment a child enters the classroom. Carefully monitor each child’s progress in each subject and skill covered in your curriculum to ensure your students are accomplishing their academic goals and not falling behind with any aspect of your teaching. This is invaluable to teachers of all subjects and all ages of children.
Create ways to praise or reward your students when classroom or individual goals are accomplished. This will encourage children to strive to meet these goals and reinforce their self confidence. Take great care not to use negative measures to reproach or criticize your students. Correcting issues using a positive demeanor can enable the child to understand your point more clearly while retaining their self confidence. Negative tones or attitudes taken towards your students can do considerable harm to both their mental and emotional development and well-being.
Create situations where your child can work on his or her self confidence. Enroll your child in a sports program or other activity to allow him or her to express interests and develop new goals. A child who participates in activities such as athletics, dance, scouts, or music has more opportunities to try new things and develop new skills. These opportunities will allow children to further develop their self confidence while gaining new friends and experiences in these activities.
Take great care to support your child in any activity he or she decides to undertake. Your child may not be the next great baseball player or a world famous piano prodigy, so be aware of the varying levels of success that can be accomplished. A child can succeed by maintaining a positive attitude and attacking each hurdle with enthusiasm and enjoyment.
Do not necessarily associate success in the activity with the overall success of the experience. Even though your child may not be able to dunk a ball with professional precision, he or she will have gained a phenomenal experience and self confidence during the duration of the activity.
When working with children of any age, you must lead by example. If your child shows that you possess a great amount of self confidence, he or she will develop a great amount of self confidence as well. Conversely, if you lack self confidence and show your child this by being negative, hesitant, or meek, he or she will not understand or appreciate the necessity of having high self confidence.
Low self confidence can be exhibited in many ways depending on your child. There are many cues to look for that can tell if you child is beginning to lose or experiencing low self confidence. These cues can by extreme shyness, hesitance to begin projects, negative attitudes towards him or herself, overt frustration at having to try new things, and inability or fear when it comes to making even the simplest decision.
Parents can begin teaching self confidence immediately after their child is born. Provide endless encouragement when your child is developing new skills or trying new things. Young children especially need encouragement since they are continuing to develop new skills on a daily basis.
Whether physical or mental, these important developmental times can range from your child taking his or her first steps to learning to read. Each step in your child’s development is exceedingly important and, in order to be completed as soon as possible, should be thoroughly reinforced in a positive manner. This positive reinforcement will encourage your child to work harder in completing the task at hand.
Teachers can teach self confidence from the moment a child enters the classroom. Carefully monitor each child’s progress in each subject and skill covered in your curriculum to ensure your students are accomplishing their academic goals and not falling behind with any aspect of your teaching. This is invaluable to teachers of all subjects and all ages of children.
Create ways to praise or reward your students when classroom or individual goals are accomplished. This will encourage children to strive to meet these goals and reinforce their self confidence. Take great care not to use negative measures to reproach or criticize your students. Correcting issues using a positive demeanor can enable the child to understand your point more clearly while retaining their self confidence. Negative tones or attitudes taken towards your students can do considerable harm to both their mental and emotional development and well-being.
Create situations where your child can work on his or her self confidence. Enroll your child in a sports program or other activity to allow him or her to express interests and develop new goals. A child who participates in activities such as athletics, dance, scouts, or music has more opportunities to try new things and develop new skills. These opportunities will allow children to further develop their self confidence while gaining new friends and experiences in these activities.
Take great care to support your child in any activity he or she decides to undertake. Your child may not be the next great baseball player or a world famous piano prodigy, so be aware of the varying levels of success that can be accomplished. A child can succeed by maintaining a positive attitude and attacking each hurdle with enthusiasm and enjoyment.
Do not necessarily associate success in the activity with the overall success of the experience. Even though your child may not be able to dunk a ball with professional precision, he or she will have gained a phenomenal experience and self confidence during the duration of the activity.
When working with children of any age, you must lead by example. If your child shows that you possess a great amount of self confidence, he or she will develop a great amount of self confidence as well. Conversely, if you lack self confidence and show your child this by being negative, hesitant, or meek, he or she will not understand or appreciate the necessity of having high self confidence.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Encouraging Self Esteem in Girls
Children, adolescents, and teenagers generally experience some sort of self esteem issues during one part of the advancement to adulthood. This problem seems to be magnified in girls rather than boys. There are many possible reasons why this seems to be the case, including developmental hormones, different social relationships in girls, and certain other gender differences that add to the problem. If you are a parent of a young girl, you may want to consider her quality of self esteem and work towards reinforcing or boosting your child’s self esteem early on in her development.
There are many resources available to you when looking in to boosting your child’s self esteem. Access the World Wide Web and search different websites that contain information about the development of young girls and how possessing low self esteem can potentially be detrimental to their development. Also, you will be able to contact different parents or guardians in the same situations as yourself.
Consider trading tips or stories with these other virtual friends who share your same goal concerning their own female child. Also, your local library is an excellent resource for information on this topic.
Check out the sections devoted to parenting, development, and the social situations with girls to gain a better understanding of this problem and how not providing a potential solution can be extremely negative to your child. Furthermore, your local bookstore has a phenomenal selection of books that are sure to answer all your questions about the impact of your daughter’s self esteem.
If necessary, you may want to join a discussion or support group regarding in order to speak with other parents about how they are tackling this issue. To find a group that is suitable to your specific needs, you may want to contact your local Department of Parks and Recreation.
Often, city and county parks departments offer parenting classes and can be able to provide you the name and number of a specific group that fits your interest. Also, your local library usually has a list of clubs, groups, and organizations within your community.
By far the best way to better instill the importance of high self esteem in girls is to lead by example. If your daughter sees you suffering from low self esteem or constantly causing another individual to suffer from low self esteem, any lessons you may be able to provide will be lost.
Most importantly, be sure to never berate, insult, or intimidate your daughter, which can potentially cause serious developmental problems that can surface later on in her life. Many girls who suffer mental anguish, teasing, hazing, or bullying have remarkably low levels of self esteem and are often timid, unsure, and hesitant when dealing with other individuals. This problem can pass on into adulthood as the scars of childhood issues make a lasting impact on their self esteem.
Consider speaking with other parents of your daughter’s friends or classmates in order to come up with clever ways to impact the children’s self esteem. Include discussions about self esteem in your daily life.
Encourage your children to read books that put a positive light on growing up and whose main characters are strong and capable girls. Encourage your daughter in all aspects of her life, scholastic, athletic, social, and extracurricular. Sit down with your daughter and write down a set of goals for both you and her to accomplish. When one of these goals is accomplished, be sure to celebrate this marker, no matter how small.
Whatever you decide to do with your daughter, your participation in her life is sure to positively affect her self esteem, in addition to many other factors.
There are many resources available to you when looking in to boosting your child’s self esteem. Access the World Wide Web and search different websites that contain information about the development of young girls and how possessing low self esteem can potentially be detrimental to their development. Also, you will be able to contact different parents or guardians in the same situations as yourself.
Consider trading tips or stories with these other virtual friends who share your same goal concerning their own female child. Also, your local library is an excellent resource for information on this topic.
Check out the sections devoted to parenting, development, and the social situations with girls to gain a better understanding of this problem and how not providing a potential solution can be extremely negative to your child. Furthermore, your local bookstore has a phenomenal selection of books that are sure to answer all your questions about the impact of your daughter’s self esteem.
If necessary, you may want to join a discussion or support group regarding in order to speak with other parents about how they are tackling this issue. To find a group that is suitable to your specific needs, you may want to contact your local Department of Parks and Recreation.
Often, city and county parks departments offer parenting classes and can be able to provide you the name and number of a specific group that fits your interest. Also, your local library usually has a list of clubs, groups, and organizations within your community.
By far the best way to better instill the importance of high self esteem in girls is to lead by example. If your daughter sees you suffering from low self esteem or constantly causing another individual to suffer from low self esteem, any lessons you may be able to provide will be lost.
Most importantly, be sure to never berate, insult, or intimidate your daughter, which can potentially cause serious developmental problems that can surface later on in her life. Many girls who suffer mental anguish, teasing, hazing, or bullying have remarkably low levels of self esteem and are often timid, unsure, and hesitant when dealing with other individuals. This problem can pass on into adulthood as the scars of childhood issues make a lasting impact on their self esteem.
Consider speaking with other parents of your daughter’s friends or classmates in order to come up with clever ways to impact the children’s self esteem. Include discussions about self esteem in your daily life.
Encourage your children to read books that put a positive light on growing up and whose main characters are strong and capable girls. Encourage your daughter in all aspects of her life, scholastic, athletic, social, and extracurricular. Sit down with your daughter and write down a set of goals for both you and her to accomplish. When one of these goals is accomplished, be sure to celebrate this marker, no matter how small.
Whatever you decide to do with your daughter, your participation in her life is sure to positively affect her self esteem, in addition to many other factors.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Super Self Confidence - How To Lose It And How You Can Get It Back
by: Steven Harold
It is well worth discussing what self-confidence is, before describing how you can change your low self confidence into healthier and empowering confidence.
As human beings, we action many tasks automatically and without having to think too much about it. An example would be riding a bike. Even though we might have gone through a few years of not using a bike, if we needed to, we would not find any difficulty in getting back on a bicycle and riding again. This is because we have done it so many times before that we know just what to do and do not have to give it too much conscious thought. So if you were to ask someone, how confident are you that you can ride a bike, as long as they had learnt to ride a bike in the past, they would probably say 'very confident'. They feel confident about it because they have done it many many times successfully before. In fact they now give very little thought to actions required to ride a bike. It all happens automatically.
This can be called a type of self confidence. Knowing something so well, that as the saying goes, you could do it with your eyes closed or you know it like the back of your hand.
Now when someone says that they have low confidence, they can so easily make the mistake of encompassing their whole life with this label. They might even say 'I never have any confidence in myself'. By saying this out loud to others who will listen, or even thinking it to themselves, they will be setting up a self-fulfilling prophecy. The label you give yourself or the label you accept as being true will invariably mean that you start to fit yourself to that label, and, can make it your own living reality.
However, that person above will be able to successfully accomplish many things confidently but, and here is the big 'but' they will not use these successes as evidence of confidence. They will dismiss or belittle them in some way (e.g. saying "I was lucky") so that they can maintain this need to say they have no confidence. This is a pity as it is only through taking a realistic view of what happens in their world, will they then be able to feel more confident about themselves.
It can be quite startling how someone will say they have no confidence and yet 5 minutes later they will tell you about some amazing things that they do such as talking in front of 10,000 people, or they go mountain climbing. Despite undertaking these events, which ordinarily seem nerve-wracking events, they may still say that they have low confidence.
So confidence or the lack of it, has a lot to do with how you view yourself. If this is the case then really it is down to a perception. Perceptions are not a true reflection of reality all of the time. Often perceptions, even between just 2 people, can be remarkably different even though these 2 people have in reality, experienced exactly the same thing.
Perceptions are the filters we use to process what happens around us. Our perceptions can make us feel good, bad or indifferent. They can give us a boost of energy or deflate us into an anxious and fearful mass. Our perceptions have power.
Our perceptions are, more often than not, based on our past conscious and subconscious experiences. They are our way of analysing what happens around and enabling us to decide the implications for us. When experiencing anything, our minds will very quickly compare the current experience to past experiences and, these past experiences will indicate how we should react to this current experience. If we have had a bad experience that seems very similar to the current experience, we will feel in a similar way to the feeling we associated with that past bad experience.
So our perceptions are based on past experiences and what we have learned from them.
This gives us a clue about how we can change and become more confident. Our perceptions can be so inaccurate and if they were formed at a young age may also have lacked understanding. Most of us have had the experience of perceiving someone or some situation in a particular way, only to realise that we got it completely wrong. With this in mind, although our perceptions are a form or protection and are meant to enable us to weigh up a situation quickly, they can also be wholly inaccurate.
Healthy and robust self-confidence begins by accepting that your perception of yourself may be wrong in certain matters. For example, some friends will be astounded when someone announces (may be on a drunken evening), that they have low confidence. These friends will say will all sincerity that they find this hard to believe as they always appear confident and in control. Yet that person will still insist that they lack confidence. Obviously the signals that they are externalising are not the same as those that they are internalising. Often the person who appears to be the most confident and out-going will have terrible doubts and internal conflicts. The external bravado will be their way of masking how they feel inside.
Balanced self-confidence begins by admitting and accepting more evidence of what you can do well. It also begins by accepting positive and complimentary comments made to you as well as other forms of evidence. In the past you may have dismissed a positive comment that was said to you because you didn't know how to handle it. You may even have made a joke of it or tried to dig up the tiniest fragment of evidence as to why you don't deserve such praise. Many people say something like this 'Oh, it was nothing'.
It would be virtually impossible to retain your self-confidence if you are someone who always dismisses or belittles their achievements. So make up your mind from today not to do it. Decide from this moment onwards to say just two words when someone says something nice or complimentary to. The two words are 'thank you'. Try it out next time and see how you feel about it. It will help you start to feel the confidence that has always been theyre waiting for you.
About The Author
Steven Harold
Clininical Hypnotherapist http://www.hypnosources.com
Confidence Hypnosis Cd
It is well worth discussing what self-confidence is, before describing how you can change your low self confidence into healthier and empowering confidence.
As human beings, we action many tasks automatically and without having to think too much about it. An example would be riding a bike. Even though we might have gone through a few years of not using a bike, if we needed to, we would not find any difficulty in getting back on a bicycle and riding again. This is because we have done it so many times before that we know just what to do and do not have to give it too much conscious thought. So if you were to ask someone, how confident are you that you can ride a bike, as long as they had learnt to ride a bike in the past, they would probably say 'very confident'. They feel confident about it because they have done it many many times successfully before. In fact they now give very little thought to actions required to ride a bike. It all happens automatically.
This can be called a type of self confidence. Knowing something so well, that as the saying goes, you could do it with your eyes closed or you know it like the back of your hand.
Now when someone says that they have low confidence, they can so easily make the mistake of encompassing their whole life with this label. They might even say 'I never have any confidence in myself'. By saying this out loud to others who will listen, or even thinking it to themselves, they will be setting up a self-fulfilling prophecy. The label you give yourself or the label you accept as being true will invariably mean that you start to fit yourself to that label, and, can make it your own living reality.
However, that person above will be able to successfully accomplish many things confidently but, and here is the big 'but' they will not use these successes as evidence of confidence. They will dismiss or belittle them in some way (e.g. saying "I was lucky") so that they can maintain this need to say they have no confidence. This is a pity as it is only through taking a realistic view of what happens in their world, will they then be able to feel more confident about themselves.
It can be quite startling how someone will say they have no confidence and yet 5 minutes later they will tell you about some amazing things that they do such as talking in front of 10,000 people, or they go mountain climbing. Despite undertaking these events, which ordinarily seem nerve-wracking events, they may still say that they have low confidence.
So confidence or the lack of it, has a lot to do with how you view yourself. If this is the case then really it is down to a perception. Perceptions are not a true reflection of reality all of the time. Often perceptions, even between just 2 people, can be remarkably different even though these 2 people have in reality, experienced exactly the same thing.
Perceptions are the filters we use to process what happens around us. Our perceptions can make us feel good, bad or indifferent. They can give us a boost of energy or deflate us into an anxious and fearful mass. Our perceptions have power.
Our perceptions are, more often than not, based on our past conscious and subconscious experiences. They are our way of analysing what happens around and enabling us to decide the implications for us. When experiencing anything, our minds will very quickly compare the current experience to past experiences and, these past experiences will indicate how we should react to this current experience. If we have had a bad experience that seems very similar to the current experience, we will feel in a similar way to the feeling we associated with that past bad experience.
So our perceptions are based on past experiences and what we have learned from them.
This gives us a clue about how we can change and become more confident. Our perceptions can be so inaccurate and if they were formed at a young age may also have lacked understanding. Most of us have had the experience of perceiving someone or some situation in a particular way, only to realise that we got it completely wrong. With this in mind, although our perceptions are a form or protection and are meant to enable us to weigh up a situation quickly, they can also be wholly inaccurate.
Healthy and robust self-confidence begins by accepting that your perception of yourself may be wrong in certain matters. For example, some friends will be astounded when someone announces (may be on a drunken evening), that they have low confidence. These friends will say will all sincerity that they find this hard to believe as they always appear confident and in control. Yet that person will still insist that they lack confidence. Obviously the signals that they are externalising are not the same as those that they are internalising. Often the person who appears to be the most confident and out-going will have terrible doubts and internal conflicts. The external bravado will be their way of masking how they feel inside.
Balanced self-confidence begins by admitting and accepting more evidence of what you can do well. It also begins by accepting positive and complimentary comments made to you as well as other forms of evidence. In the past you may have dismissed a positive comment that was said to you because you didn't know how to handle it. You may even have made a joke of it or tried to dig up the tiniest fragment of evidence as to why you don't deserve such praise. Many people say something like this 'Oh, it was nothing'.
It would be virtually impossible to retain your self-confidence if you are someone who always dismisses or belittles their achievements. So make up your mind from today not to do it. Decide from this moment onwards to say just two words when someone says something nice or complimentary to. The two words are 'thank you'. Try it out next time and see how you feel about it. It will help you start to feel the confidence that has always been theyre waiting for you.
About The Author
Steven Harold
Clininical Hypnotherapist http://www.hypnosources.com
Confidence Hypnosis Cd
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Dating With Confidence
Dating can be a nerve-wracking experience for many people. After all, you could be meeting your future spouse. It can also be a very vulnerable experience. The whole point of dating (usually) is to get to know someone else on an intimate level, or at least beginning this process. For whatever reason, and there are many, most people want to make a good first impression. At the very least, most people want to avoid rejection. Dating is a prime opportunity for this by its very nature.
Whether you're looking for a fun night out or a long term development, rejection can occur either way, and it can be difficult to deal with. Self-doubt can come in many forms, from questioning one's intelligence to one's looks to one's ability to tell a good joke. Dating puts it all out there.
How can you increase your confidence when it comes to dating? There are a few things you can do, and certain methods are more appropriate for some people than others.
First Things First
A date is just a date. It is not the rest of your life. Yes, you may meet your future spouse, but this is far beyond the scope of the date. At this point, no matter how desperate you may be feeling to finally settle down, focus only on the date. Putting more pressure on it makes it harder for both of you. The other person is likely to sense your "desperation" (for lack of a better word), and you end up putting way to much pressure on yourself. Instead, try focusing on the date itself, not where it may or may not lead.
Enjoy the time together, or, if you don't, try to avoid blaming yourself and going into the litany of self-talk that tries to convince you that you're not worth dating, you'll never find someone, and that you'll be single for the rest of your life.
Be Yourself
Yes, you've heard it many times before, and there's a reason for it. If you do hit it off with the other person, it's best if this happens when you're being true to yourself. If you're "faking" it, you're then faced with coming forward and facing humiliation, rejection, or both, or continuing the facade. This takes a lot of effort, it's dishonest, and you can't keep it up for very long anyway.
So whatever your faults, try not to hide them too much. This doesn't mean that you put them all out on the table on the first date, but it also means that you don't go to extreme measures trying to hide them or pretending to be something or someone you're not.
Get Out of Yourself
To help deal with your insecurities about yourself, try focusing on the other person. Show a genuine interest in what he or she has to say. Be honest and courteous in your responses. Let the other person have the spotlight. Not only does this help keep you from focusing on your insecurities, it also helps accomplish what dates are meant to do--get to know someone else better.
Ask questions, listen to the answers, and ask more. Talk about common interests when you find them. Above all, try to avoid talking about yourself the whole time or worrying too much about how you look, what you're saying, and what type of impression you're making.
Try Something Different
If the idea of sitting through a quiet dinner with someone you barely know makes you break out into a sweat, consider dating activities that involve a bit more involvement. Take a tour through a garden, go rollerblading, or do some other activity that keeps you moving.
If you have something to do, you can focus less on feeling awkward and more on the conversation. It helps keep the atmosphere lighter as well, which can make you both feel more comfortable and confident.
Whether you're looking for a fun night out or a long term development, rejection can occur either way, and it can be difficult to deal with. Self-doubt can come in many forms, from questioning one's intelligence to one's looks to one's ability to tell a good joke. Dating puts it all out there.
How can you increase your confidence when it comes to dating? There are a few things you can do, and certain methods are more appropriate for some people than others.
First Things First
A date is just a date. It is not the rest of your life. Yes, you may meet your future spouse, but this is far beyond the scope of the date. At this point, no matter how desperate you may be feeling to finally settle down, focus only on the date. Putting more pressure on it makes it harder for both of you. The other person is likely to sense your "desperation" (for lack of a better word), and you end up putting way to much pressure on yourself. Instead, try focusing on the date itself, not where it may or may not lead.
Enjoy the time together, or, if you don't, try to avoid blaming yourself and going into the litany of self-talk that tries to convince you that you're not worth dating, you'll never find someone, and that you'll be single for the rest of your life.
Be Yourself
Yes, you've heard it many times before, and there's a reason for it. If you do hit it off with the other person, it's best if this happens when you're being true to yourself. If you're "faking" it, you're then faced with coming forward and facing humiliation, rejection, or both, or continuing the facade. This takes a lot of effort, it's dishonest, and you can't keep it up for very long anyway.
So whatever your faults, try not to hide them too much. This doesn't mean that you put them all out on the table on the first date, but it also means that you don't go to extreme measures trying to hide them or pretending to be something or someone you're not.
Get Out of Yourself
To help deal with your insecurities about yourself, try focusing on the other person. Show a genuine interest in what he or she has to say. Be honest and courteous in your responses. Let the other person have the spotlight. Not only does this help keep you from focusing on your insecurities, it also helps accomplish what dates are meant to do--get to know someone else better.
Ask questions, listen to the answers, and ask more. Talk about common interests when you find them. Above all, try to avoid talking about yourself the whole time or worrying too much about how you look, what you're saying, and what type of impression you're making.
Try Something Different
If the idea of sitting through a quiet dinner with someone you barely know makes you break out into a sweat, consider dating activities that involve a bit more involvement. Take a tour through a garden, go rollerblading, or do some other activity that keeps you moving.
If you have something to do, you can focus less on feeling awkward and more on the conversation. It helps keep the atmosphere lighter as well, which can make you both feel more comfortable and confident.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Cornerstones of Self-Confidence
Self-confidence is something that all of us need if we have to do well in life. It gives us the courage to face the most difficult of situations, something which cannot be said of people who lack self-confidence. They often break down in front of challenges.
The question, however, is how do you achieve self-confidence? You can do so if you define your tasks, and priorities, correctly. You then need to ask yourself as to how you can accomplish these tasks. A good strategy is to break your goals into smaller tasks. This makes the main task seem less daunting. You then need to pat yourself every time you reach a milestone. This increases your self-confidence, and makes it easy for you to achieve your goals.
You also need to look at the image that you have of yourself. If you don’t have a good image of yourself, and are always running yourself down, then your chances of being successful are minimal. Your self image or what you believe about yourself can be hurt easily if you blame yourself for any setback in your life like a business failure, loss of a job or a divorce. So, avoid self-flagellation. It feeds on your negative thoughts, and can easily become a monster. You need to write off your failures, and plan for new challenges. This is a positive approach to adopt, and can shore up your shaky self-confidence.
Those who are close to you play an important role in shaping your self-confidence. If they happen to critical or negative, they will have a negative impact on your self-confidence. Your priority should be to distance yourself from such people, and find friends and supporters who are imbued with a positive outlook. Without your knowing, they will add to your self-confidence.
Another issue that matters is your reaction to the events in your life. You should consider yourself a unique person who has his own special place in the world. This will lead to a development of positive attitudes, beliefs and values, qualities that can give you the self-confidence to succeed against all odds.
However, there is an inherent danger in such a world-view. You may become too over-confident, and stop listening to what the others say. Don’t allow this to happen. Listen to all criticism, filter out the points that can make you a better individual; junk the rest. This constant course correction will make you a better individual.
At the same time, you need to monitor your internal dialogue. You must talk yourself into believing that you can take up any reasonable assignment. This will drive away negative attitudes and beliefs, and add to your self-confidence..
In fact, the picture you have of yourself needs constant monitoring and care. You cannot afford to let it take care of itself. Your self-confidence, happiness and success depends on it. You need to guard against selling yourself short. Don’t underestimate yourself and prevent feelings of inferiority from creeping in. Aim high and feel that you are capable of achieving anything you choose. Write down how you would like to see yourself five or ten years from now.
Make a list of your strong points, the things you do well and the compliments you receive. Write down a few of the things about yourself, which you think need improvement. Think of yourself as a self-confident person and act as if you are very self-confident, even if you don’t feel that way. Try to keep negative attitudes and beliefs away from yourself and maintain a safe distance from negative and destructive people.
If you take responsibility for your life and practice these methods regularly, your self-confidence will rise. What’s more, it will remain high.
The question, however, is how do you achieve self-confidence? You can do so if you define your tasks, and priorities, correctly. You then need to ask yourself as to how you can accomplish these tasks. A good strategy is to break your goals into smaller tasks. This makes the main task seem less daunting. You then need to pat yourself every time you reach a milestone. This increases your self-confidence, and makes it easy for you to achieve your goals.
You also need to look at the image that you have of yourself. If you don’t have a good image of yourself, and are always running yourself down, then your chances of being successful are minimal. Your self image or what you believe about yourself can be hurt easily if you blame yourself for any setback in your life like a business failure, loss of a job or a divorce. So, avoid self-flagellation. It feeds on your negative thoughts, and can easily become a monster. You need to write off your failures, and plan for new challenges. This is a positive approach to adopt, and can shore up your shaky self-confidence.
Those who are close to you play an important role in shaping your self-confidence. If they happen to critical or negative, they will have a negative impact on your self-confidence. Your priority should be to distance yourself from such people, and find friends and supporters who are imbued with a positive outlook. Without your knowing, they will add to your self-confidence.
Another issue that matters is your reaction to the events in your life. You should consider yourself a unique person who has his own special place in the world. This will lead to a development of positive attitudes, beliefs and values, qualities that can give you the self-confidence to succeed against all odds.
However, there is an inherent danger in such a world-view. You may become too over-confident, and stop listening to what the others say. Don’t allow this to happen. Listen to all criticism, filter out the points that can make you a better individual; junk the rest. This constant course correction will make you a better individual.
At the same time, you need to monitor your internal dialogue. You must talk yourself into believing that you can take up any reasonable assignment. This will drive away negative attitudes and beliefs, and add to your self-confidence..
In fact, the picture you have of yourself needs constant monitoring and care. You cannot afford to let it take care of itself. Your self-confidence, happiness and success depends on it. You need to guard against selling yourself short. Don’t underestimate yourself and prevent feelings of inferiority from creeping in. Aim high and feel that you are capable of achieving anything you choose. Write down how you would like to see yourself five or ten years from now.
Make a list of your strong points, the things you do well and the compliments you receive. Write down a few of the things about yourself, which you think need improvement. Think of yourself as a self-confident person and act as if you are very self-confident, even if you don’t feel that way. Try to keep negative attitudes and beliefs away from yourself and maintain a safe distance from negative and destructive people.
If you take responsibility for your life and practice these methods regularly, your self-confidence will rise. What’s more, it will remain high.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Computer Skills Self Confidence
This phenomenal technology revolution we have found ourselves a part of is sweeping the world at an alarmingly fast rate. Quite suddenly, everyday tasks we have completed without the help of technology now require the latest and fastest technology to enable the task. This great advancement in all technical fields has made the most process in the field of computers.
Today’s computers are small and light enough to fit into the palm of your hand, whereas the behemoths a couple of decades ago were giant systems with monstrous proportions. Everything now seems to run off batteries and is so tiny we can fit it in our pocket. It is no surprise many individuals have seemed unable to cooperate with these advancements simply because they lack the skills necessary to successfully operate a computer or a software program. Instead of hiding from this daily advancement of technology, build your self confidence in a computer skills program.
Learning even basic computer skills will allow you to access and run operations and programs on a personal computer or Apple’s Mac. If you are completely unfamiliar with a computer, consider enrolling in an introductory course at your local college or community college. These institutions offer individuals the opportunity to learn vital facts about a computer and be able to make the necessary repairs to your system.
This class is to be taken with the extreme seriousness and should not be entered into lightly. If you are unable to attend a community college, be sure to check with your year’s prefects in order to retain a section of the transmission. These subjects can be based on a number of things ranging from setting up your own home office to learning the signs of a systems crash so that you can successfully back up your files.
If you do not find a community college is right you, consider contacting your local Parks and Recreation Department. Most park departments offer lessons that are excellent for computer beginners and the novice that has a general idea of how to get around the computer. Since the city, county, or town government sponsors these seminars, they are quite economical and offer specific breaks for area city, county, or town residents.
Usually, the only equipment you will need to complete the entrance into the world of the Internet is a computer and access to the World Wide Web. Individuals from all over the world can access the Internet and contact individuals hundreds of thousands of miles away. If you do not have a computer at your disposal, try using computers from places like your local library. You will be able to stay fresh with your computer self confidence while accessing the Internet for absolutely free.
The easiest way to gain self confidence when working with computers is to practice, practice, practice. Explore your computer and try to understand how the hard drive works in cooperation with all of the extra prices present. Do not worry about breaking your computer or executing one potentially hazardous program or file. You computer is a great deal more rugged than you may think, therefore it is fully capable of withstanding errors and problems that may occur while you are exploring.
Practice with programs like Microsoft Word, Excel, and PowerPoint. You can quickly and easily complete projects of all expectations using this software. Once you have learned the computer, the operating system, and software, you can rely on your self confidence to carry you the rest of the way. Do not sit at home alone while watching another day pass by—arrange to begin your private or public lessons with any number of trained and talented personnel. Use your self confidence to maintain a sense of trust that you are doing what is necessary in order to completely learn necessary computer skills.
Today’s computers are small and light enough to fit into the palm of your hand, whereas the behemoths a couple of decades ago were giant systems with monstrous proportions. Everything now seems to run off batteries and is so tiny we can fit it in our pocket. It is no surprise many individuals have seemed unable to cooperate with these advancements simply because they lack the skills necessary to successfully operate a computer or a software program. Instead of hiding from this daily advancement of technology, build your self confidence in a computer skills program.
Learning even basic computer skills will allow you to access and run operations and programs on a personal computer or Apple’s Mac. If you are completely unfamiliar with a computer, consider enrolling in an introductory course at your local college or community college. These institutions offer individuals the opportunity to learn vital facts about a computer and be able to make the necessary repairs to your system.
This class is to be taken with the extreme seriousness and should not be entered into lightly. If you are unable to attend a community college, be sure to check with your year’s prefects in order to retain a section of the transmission. These subjects can be based on a number of things ranging from setting up your own home office to learning the signs of a systems crash so that you can successfully back up your files.
If you do not find a community college is right you, consider contacting your local Parks and Recreation Department. Most park departments offer lessons that are excellent for computer beginners and the novice that has a general idea of how to get around the computer. Since the city, county, or town government sponsors these seminars, they are quite economical and offer specific breaks for area city, county, or town residents.
Usually, the only equipment you will need to complete the entrance into the world of the Internet is a computer and access to the World Wide Web. Individuals from all over the world can access the Internet and contact individuals hundreds of thousands of miles away. If you do not have a computer at your disposal, try using computers from places like your local library. You will be able to stay fresh with your computer self confidence while accessing the Internet for absolutely free.
The easiest way to gain self confidence when working with computers is to practice, practice, practice. Explore your computer and try to understand how the hard drive works in cooperation with all of the extra prices present. Do not worry about breaking your computer or executing one potentially hazardous program or file. You computer is a great deal more rugged than you may think, therefore it is fully capable of withstanding errors and problems that may occur while you are exploring.
Practice with programs like Microsoft Word, Excel, and PowerPoint. You can quickly and easily complete projects of all expectations using this software. Once you have learned the computer, the operating system, and software, you can rely on your self confidence to carry you the rest of the way. Do not sit at home alone while watching another day pass by—arrange to begin your private or public lessons with any number of trained and talented personnel. Use your self confidence to maintain a sense of trust that you are doing what is necessary in order to completely learn necessary computer skills.
Monday, April 9, 2007
Check Your Confidence Levels
Would you like to be confident? Your answer may be - yes; I do want to be confident. However, this answer lacks the impact. It is too generalized. Just like everybody wants to do well in life and be rich but not many ever realize this wish. This is because to actually get somewhere in life, you need to quantify your confidence. You need to define the task for which you need to be confident so that you can execute it successfully. A mere wish to be confident won’t take you anywhere. The dream must have a deadline as well!
Self Confidence might mean different things to different people groups. For a child it might mean to be able to recite the poem to her teacher the next morning. For a business executive it might mean to be able to present the business report to the Board of Directors. For a salaried person it may be the ability to be able to make a switch over from his secure job to a new independent venture and so on.
To execute their respective tasks, these people need a certain level of confidence, which would see them through. Every task requires a minimum level of confidence to be able to be executed. Do you have a task in your mind to be done? Do you have the level of confidence required? Let us check it out!
Following is a simple questionnaire. You have to answer to these in a YES or NO
1. Does it happen too often with you that you cannot take a decision all by yourself and you seem to look for your colleagues, friends, or your spouse to sort the matter for you?
2. Do you always seem to be in perpetual need of a support system wherein you can feel secure?
3. Do you just sit and listen all the times in your office meetings?
4. Do you feel difficulty in reporting a matter to your boss or you have an excellent idea that can improve your company’s efficiency but you cannot muster enough courage to go and talk about it to your Boss?
5. Are you terrified to meet someone new? Is public speaking your worst nightmare?
6. Do you timidly accept orders from your superior even though you know that you are already overloaded and you need to say no?
7. Are you excessively concerned about what other people think of you?
8. Do you fear taking risks?
9. Do you feel dissatisfied about your appearance?
10. Are you uncomfortable in social gatherings – being amongst lots of people?
If you happen to answer these questions with a Yes, you seem to have a confidence crisis that might become an obstacle in successfully executing your tasks. Don’t Panic, as it is good that you found out since now you are aware of a potential problem of your life.
The very fact that you are aware of your confidence rating makes you ready to take further action and work towards eliminating the negative effects of low confidence levels and work towards building your self confidence.
Here are some more questions you may answer.
1. Have you accomplished anything in the past?
2. Are you the one to go ahead and break the ice at a new place or wait for someone else to initiate a discussion?
3. Do you feel you are well respected by others?
4. Do you think you have the potential to succeed?
5. Are you a happy and loving person?
6. Are you satisfied with your career graph?
7. Are you satisfied with your skills and qualifications?
8. Do you feel in control of your life?
9. Do you imagine yourself to be more successful five years from now?
10. Do you feel that you are a worthwhile person?
If you happen to answer most of these questions with a NO, you have LOW self-confidence levels.
However, a YES is never decisive and a NO is never final. One needs to constantly maintain the good points and work towards converting bad points into good points. And the good news is that it is very much possible.
It’s important that you honestly answer the questions above, since only when you realize the present status of your self-confidence would you be working towards building self-confidence or maintaining and increasing your present levels.
Self Confidence might mean different things to different people groups. For a child it might mean to be able to recite the poem to her teacher the next morning. For a business executive it might mean to be able to present the business report to the Board of Directors. For a salaried person it may be the ability to be able to make a switch over from his secure job to a new independent venture and so on.
To execute their respective tasks, these people need a certain level of confidence, which would see them through. Every task requires a minimum level of confidence to be able to be executed. Do you have a task in your mind to be done? Do you have the level of confidence required? Let us check it out!
Following is a simple questionnaire. You have to answer to these in a YES or NO
1. Does it happen too often with you that you cannot take a decision all by yourself and you seem to look for your colleagues, friends, or your spouse to sort the matter for you?
2. Do you always seem to be in perpetual need of a support system wherein you can feel secure?
3. Do you just sit and listen all the times in your office meetings?
4. Do you feel difficulty in reporting a matter to your boss or you have an excellent idea that can improve your company’s efficiency but you cannot muster enough courage to go and talk about it to your Boss?
5. Are you terrified to meet someone new? Is public speaking your worst nightmare?
6. Do you timidly accept orders from your superior even though you know that you are already overloaded and you need to say no?
7. Are you excessively concerned about what other people think of you?
8. Do you fear taking risks?
9. Do you feel dissatisfied about your appearance?
10. Are you uncomfortable in social gatherings – being amongst lots of people?
If you happen to answer these questions with a Yes, you seem to have a confidence crisis that might become an obstacle in successfully executing your tasks. Don’t Panic, as it is good that you found out since now you are aware of a potential problem of your life.
The very fact that you are aware of your confidence rating makes you ready to take further action and work towards eliminating the negative effects of low confidence levels and work towards building your self confidence.
Here are some more questions you may answer.
1. Have you accomplished anything in the past?
2. Are you the one to go ahead and break the ice at a new place or wait for someone else to initiate a discussion?
3. Do you feel you are well respected by others?
4. Do you think you have the potential to succeed?
5. Are you a happy and loving person?
6. Are you satisfied with your career graph?
7. Are you satisfied with your skills and qualifications?
8. Do you feel in control of your life?
9. Do you imagine yourself to be more successful five years from now?
10. Do you feel that you are a worthwhile person?
If you happen to answer most of these questions with a NO, you have LOW self-confidence levels.
However, a YES is never decisive and a NO is never final. One needs to constantly maintain the good points and work towards converting bad points into good points. And the good news is that it is very much possible.
It’s important that you honestly answer the questions above, since only when you realize the present status of your self-confidence would you be working towards building self-confidence or maintaining and increasing your present levels.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Building Your Self-Confidence at Work
Many people wish they felt more secure about their abilities on the job. In other words, they're looking for increased self-confidence when it comes to performing the work, dealing with coworkers, and handling tough situations. If you're one of these people, you're not alone. What can you do to feel more self-assured about your job?
First, remember that you are not your job. That is, if you make a mistake at work, this does not mean that you are stupid, worthless, or that you're in the wrong position. It's all too easy to take mistakes personally, seeing them as a reflection of your true person rather than for what it is: a mistake.
Even though it may not always appear so, everyone makes mistakes from time to time. The best way to deal with a mistake is to own up to it right away and present a solution. This shows that you are honest, and by presenting ways to fix the problem, your boss can send you on your way to deal with the issue. Acting honestly and straightforwardly is best for you--you'll feel better about yourself--and best for the company (which again will help you feel better).
Another common issue is feeling insecure when it comes to coworkers. Many people feel that they do not fit in, are unsure how to handle conflict, or have an overbearing coworker or boss that they don't know how to communicate with. Any of these feelings can wear at your self-esteem.
You may feel you have nothing to offer the group, whether socially or on projects, you avoid conflict, and may allow others to step on you. If socialization is a problem, it will require you to step out of your comfort zone a bit. This does not mean you need to jump right in with a large company gathering; rather, take it slow by opening conversations with one or two coworkers.
Chances are you'll have something in common. Asking questions about the other person is always a great way to go; just avoid questions with simple yes or no answers.
When dealing with conflict resolution and difficult employees, learning some proven communication techniques may be necessary. Consider attending a course on conflict resolution and dealing with difficult people. In the meantime, remember that the overbearing person likely has a lot of insecurities as well, and these are what cause the behavior.
In the midst of conflict, do your best to avoid being pulled into argumentative situations. Don't reward the other person's behavior by getting upset or immediately backing down. If necessary, say you'll continue the conversation when everyone has had a chance to cool down. Dealing with negative coworkers is never fun. Try and remember that your self worth is not dependent on the coworker's approval, even if that person is your boss.
It could be you're feeling unsure about your skills. This one is pretty easy--learn more! Many companies offer continuing education options, will pay for schooling, or offer professional development in house.
Whatever your employer offers, take advantage. If your company does not have this option, find some good books on the subject. Ask your colleagues for suggestions, or if you're a member of any type of professional group, seek advice there as well. Many of your peers will have good suggestions on what's worth looking into.
Finally, give yourself some challenges. One great way to build your self confidence at work is to take on a special project or extra work. If you choose something you feel passionate about or something in your specialty area, you can show yourself and your colleagues that you are able to produce results.
Even if you fail, you're showing initiative and willingness by taking on special projects. Knowing that you put yourself out there, rather than sitting on the sidelines, can be a great confidence booster. And the same can be said for when it goes well.
First, remember that you are not your job. That is, if you make a mistake at work, this does not mean that you are stupid, worthless, or that you're in the wrong position. It's all too easy to take mistakes personally, seeing them as a reflection of your true person rather than for what it is: a mistake.
Even though it may not always appear so, everyone makes mistakes from time to time. The best way to deal with a mistake is to own up to it right away and present a solution. This shows that you are honest, and by presenting ways to fix the problem, your boss can send you on your way to deal with the issue. Acting honestly and straightforwardly is best for you--you'll feel better about yourself--and best for the company (which again will help you feel better).
Another common issue is feeling insecure when it comes to coworkers. Many people feel that they do not fit in, are unsure how to handle conflict, or have an overbearing coworker or boss that they don't know how to communicate with. Any of these feelings can wear at your self-esteem.
You may feel you have nothing to offer the group, whether socially or on projects, you avoid conflict, and may allow others to step on you. If socialization is a problem, it will require you to step out of your comfort zone a bit. This does not mean you need to jump right in with a large company gathering; rather, take it slow by opening conversations with one or two coworkers.
Chances are you'll have something in common. Asking questions about the other person is always a great way to go; just avoid questions with simple yes or no answers.
When dealing with conflict resolution and difficult employees, learning some proven communication techniques may be necessary. Consider attending a course on conflict resolution and dealing with difficult people. In the meantime, remember that the overbearing person likely has a lot of insecurities as well, and these are what cause the behavior.
In the midst of conflict, do your best to avoid being pulled into argumentative situations. Don't reward the other person's behavior by getting upset or immediately backing down. If necessary, say you'll continue the conversation when everyone has had a chance to cool down. Dealing with negative coworkers is never fun. Try and remember that your self worth is not dependent on the coworker's approval, even if that person is your boss.
It could be you're feeling unsure about your skills. This one is pretty easy--learn more! Many companies offer continuing education options, will pay for schooling, or offer professional development in house.
Whatever your employer offers, take advantage. If your company does not have this option, find some good books on the subject. Ask your colleagues for suggestions, or if you're a member of any type of professional group, seek advice there as well. Many of your peers will have good suggestions on what's worth looking into.
Finally, give yourself some challenges. One great way to build your self confidence at work is to take on a special project or extra work. If you choose something you feel passionate about or something in your specialty area, you can show yourself and your colleagues that you are able to produce results.
Even if you fail, you're showing initiative and willingness by taking on special projects. Knowing that you put yourself out there, rather than sitting on the sidelines, can be a great confidence booster. And the same can be said for when it goes well.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Building Your Child's Self Esteem
It's one of those things that all parents want to provide for their children and one of those things that many feel they do not know how to do: raise a self-confident child. Self-esteem oftentimes seems like a fragile, distant thing that we all know what it is but don't know how to develop.
We teach our children "honesty is the best policy." This applies to how we deal with our children as much as it does expecting them to be honest with us. When it comes to your child's self-esteem, he or she will know or be able to sense if you are not being honest. For example, if art is not your child's top skill, don't say that his or her drawing is the best you've ever seen.
Your child will know it's not, and will not believe you the next time you say something meant to be positive, no matter how honest it is. Instead, tell your child something genuine about the piece or the effort. Make non-judgmental statements such as, "You really used your imagination in making the flowers many different colors." This simply states your observation, rather than a false statement.
Also, understand that your child and your child's behavior are two separate things. This can be very hard to remember, particularly when your child is acting out in ways that make you crazy or that are unsafe.However, when you discipline your child for the behavior rather than the person, you can positively influence and foster self esteem. Why? If your child feels that you are mad, because of who he or she is as a person rather than for the behavior, this can negatively affect your child's self-esteem. Using "I" statements helps with this. Say something like, "I don't like it when you leave your toys scattered all over the floor," which also addresses the behavior, rather than, "You are a slob," which attacks their character.
Let your child make some decisions. Children are in a situation where everyone else is constantly telling them what to do, when to do it, where to go, and more. When children are allowed to make some choices, even if it's something small, they learn to be self-reliant.
You don't want your children growing up feeling dependent on others for direction. Simple choices such as what to wear (you can offer two or three choices) or choosing a special lunch item will foster your child's being able to think independently.
Encourage your children to try new things. While there's nothing wrong with encouraging your child's talents--this will help build self-confidence as well--it's also important that your children learn to experiment. Trying new things helps everyone overcome fears of the unknown and helps us learn to deal with success and failure. If a child never learns to try new things, this can create problems later in life.
After all, most people do not live in world where everything is the same day after day. Life is constantly changing, whether it's a move to a
These are, of course, only a few things you can do to help develop your child's self-confidence. The important thing to remember is that it is an ongoing process. The little things do add up, even if they seem unimportant. This can be helpful to keep in mind, particularly when something as important as developing your child's self esteem feels like a monumental task. It doesn't have to be! Taking time to recognize your child for the wonderful person he or she is, combined with a few techniques and consistency will go a long way toward raising a healthy, confident adult.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Think Positive About Your Self Confidence!
A person’s self confidence is their ability to believe in themselves. People with a high self confidence are optimistic, assertive, and eager individuals ready to take on the world and conquer the goals. On the other hand, people with a low self confidence find themselves often distant and despondent, constantly questioning themselves and often passive or submissive.
Self confidence is the key to succeeding in your academic pursuits, athletic activities, employment field, and private life. Individuals that entertain a high sense of self confidence usually go on to phenomenally succeed, whereas individuals with a low sense of self confidence tend to be brought down by their inner demons and fail.
The trap of low self confidence is extremely easy to fall into and extremely difficult to remove yourself. That tiny voice in the back of your head that criticizes, questions, and insults can easily grow louder and louder the more you listen. Instead of traditional angel on one should and devil on the other, someone with low self confidence finds the devil there more often than not. Instead of boosting themselves up by enjoying their accomplishments or congratulating themselves on a job well done, individuals with low self esteem find their shoulder devil is constantly picking and finding fault in the midst of triumph.
They key to maintaining a high self esteem is positive thinking. Individuals that think of themselves in a positive light are more likely to have a higher self confidence than those nay-sayers in the crowd. One way to remain positive and keep and upbeat aura is to surround yourself with positive people.
Avoid individuals who criticize, nit pick, and put down. These negative individuals are a sinking ship and will only bring you down with them. By surrounding yourself with positive people, you will find it easier to maintain your high sense of a self worth and banish that devil from your shoulder. If you find yourself in a situation where you must deal with individuals with a negative outlook, confront them on the matter.
Often, office gossip, school yard taunts, or home issues bury themselves deep within our minds and wreck havoc on our self confidence. Instead of allowing yourself to be burdened by these harmful words and thoughts, fight back! Refuse to stoop to their level, but insist the back biting and drama cease with the negative words.
This task is certain to be difficult and the easiest thing to do is to walk away and let yourself moon over the hurtful words and thoughts, but the right thing to do is to attempt to put a stop to the situation. If the individuals refuse to cease, continue, or even worsen their actions, then break apart from the trend. Unfortunately, this may mean ending relationships, both personal and job related.
If you find yourself surrounded by so-called friends who constantly make you feel poorly about yourself and lower your self confidence, it might be time to part ways. Remember, friends, family, and loved ones are supposed to make you feel good about yourself and have your best interest at heart. This is not always the case and friends by title alone can do more harm than most enemies.
Furthermore, personal relationships can have the same—if not worse—affect on one’s self confidence level. Quite often, individuals in abusive relationships find themselves despondent and upset about their situation. If a loved one is making you feel poorly about yourself by constant criticism, abusive language, and distrusting actions, drastic circumstances may be due.
Make the case for a change in the relationship and make your loved one understand what his or her words, thoughts, or actions do to your self confidence. If this fails, you may need to make a painful break, but remember, your loved ones are supposed to love and support you at all times. If someone is failing to do so, they have not fulfilled their role in you life.
Self confidence is the key to succeeding in your academic pursuits, athletic activities, employment field, and private life. Individuals that entertain a high sense of self confidence usually go on to phenomenally succeed, whereas individuals with a low sense of self confidence tend to be brought down by their inner demons and fail.
The trap of low self confidence is extremely easy to fall into and extremely difficult to remove yourself. That tiny voice in the back of your head that criticizes, questions, and insults can easily grow louder and louder the more you listen. Instead of traditional angel on one should and devil on the other, someone with low self confidence finds the devil there more often than not. Instead of boosting themselves up by enjoying their accomplishments or congratulating themselves on a job well done, individuals with low self esteem find their shoulder devil is constantly picking and finding fault in the midst of triumph.
They key to maintaining a high self esteem is positive thinking. Individuals that think of themselves in a positive light are more likely to have a higher self confidence than those nay-sayers in the crowd. One way to remain positive and keep and upbeat aura is to surround yourself with positive people.
Avoid individuals who criticize, nit pick, and put down. These negative individuals are a sinking ship and will only bring you down with them. By surrounding yourself with positive people, you will find it easier to maintain your high sense of a self worth and banish that devil from your shoulder. If you find yourself in a situation where you must deal with individuals with a negative outlook, confront them on the matter.
Often, office gossip, school yard taunts, or home issues bury themselves deep within our minds and wreck havoc on our self confidence. Instead of allowing yourself to be burdened by these harmful words and thoughts, fight back! Refuse to stoop to their level, but insist the back biting and drama cease with the negative words.
This task is certain to be difficult and the easiest thing to do is to walk away and let yourself moon over the hurtful words and thoughts, but the right thing to do is to attempt to put a stop to the situation. If the individuals refuse to cease, continue, or even worsen their actions, then break apart from the trend. Unfortunately, this may mean ending relationships, both personal and job related.
If you find yourself surrounded by so-called friends who constantly make you feel poorly about yourself and lower your self confidence, it might be time to part ways. Remember, friends, family, and loved ones are supposed to make you feel good about yourself and have your best interest at heart. This is not always the case and friends by title alone can do more harm than most enemies.
Furthermore, personal relationships can have the same—if not worse—affect on one’s self confidence level. Quite often, individuals in abusive relationships find themselves despondent and upset about their situation. If a loved one is making you feel poorly about yourself by constant criticism, abusive language, and distrusting actions, drastic circumstances may be due.
Make the case for a change in the relationship and make your loved one understand what his or her words, thoughts, or actions do to your self confidence. If this fails, you may need to make a painful break, but remember, your loved ones are supposed to love and support you at all times. If someone is failing to do so, they have not fulfilled their role in you life.
Monday, March 5, 2007
How To Build Your Self Confidence
The life was a combination. Sometimes we were above, and occasionally we were below. When was below, not rare from us lost would the conviction himself.
But, having self-confidence does not mean that someone will be able to do everything in their life. Self-confident people have expectations that are realistic. Even when some of their expectations are not met, they continue to be positive and to accept themselves.
Self Confidence Can Be Learned And Built On
* Learn to accept yourself
* Liberate yourself - Go out and do what you like!
* Find your flock
* Set Achievable Goals and Go for it!
Learn to accept yourself
The very first step is to accept yourself – lovingly. No person in the world in perfect so why bother and shed tears over your imperfectness. This is how God wanted us to be – Imperfect! We might have something that someone else may lack and someone else might be endowed with the qualities, which we lack.
This incompleteness makes us go out and seek companions who make us feel loved, wanted and complete. Oh what a great feeling! Would we experience it if we were inside the cocoon of our perfection? Never! So accept yourself the way you are. It will free your mind of a heavy baggage of unnecessary worries. You will instantly feel light and cheerful.
Liberate yourself - Go out and do what you like!
How long it has been since you last went to have a walk among the pines – something that you loved as a child? How long has it been when you walked hand in hand with your friend to the bakery and tossed a coin to decide what to buy? These might seem very simple things but these simple things have the power to add on to build great confidence and fulfilment.
Life if see is actually quite simple. What gets a bit too complex though is to remain simple. Isn’t it? Just as small drops of water make the mighty ocean, the little things you enjoy doing have the capability to turn you into a storehouse of confidence. When God made you, He put a desire in your heart and bestowed onto you the capability to achieve it.
However, in the process of growing up, you forgot what exactly was your purpose, what is that you liked and what is that you enjoyed doing. It does happen with lots and lots of people who do feel like breaking free but are too tied up in their day to day responsibilities that it gets impossible for them to spare even 10 minutes to reflect on their lives, their direction, their dreams and goals. It’s our duty to clear the mess that prevents us from hearing to our heart.
The conversations with your heart should keep getting clearer and the best way to do it is to find time to do what you enjoy. And since you enjoy doing that activity, it straightaway means that you have all the aptitude and intelligence necessary to do the job effortlessly even though you may not realize it.
Find your flock
Birds of a feather flock together. You must find out people with whom you enjoy being. They are certainly the people of your frequency and the energy flow between you and them is natural.
Life becomes easy when you are among the people who are more or less on the same plane of thought as you and it’s easier to relate to them. They seem to understand you and vice versa thus creating conditions for healthy conversations. A good conversation is a very healthy exercise and an important need of our mind. We all want our ideas to be heard and appreciated and a good company provides platform for the same.
Set Achievable Goals and Go for it!
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The idea is to begin with a small single step that can then further developed into giant strides. Learn to do the work at hand rather than to overwhelm oneself by looking at the entirety of a mammoth looking task. Just like the soil underneath your foot, the top of mountain too would someday be under your step.
The only way to do something is to Go For It! No matter how small the progress is the focus should be on completing a task successfully even though it’s a small task. A series of big uncompleted task is a sure shot way to depression. Break a big task into a list of small tasks to be completed. Tick off from your list each job successfully completed. A completed task no matter how small it is gives a sense of achievement that boosts our confidence and equips us with more energy to try a bigger task.
But, having self-confidence does not mean that someone will be able to do everything in their life. Self-confident people have expectations that are realistic. Even when some of their expectations are not met, they continue to be positive and to accept themselves.
Self Confidence Can Be Learned And Built On
* Learn to accept yourself
* Liberate yourself - Go out and do what you like!
* Find your flock
* Set Achievable Goals and Go for it!
Learn to accept yourself
The very first step is to accept yourself – lovingly. No person in the world in perfect so why bother and shed tears over your imperfectness. This is how God wanted us to be – Imperfect! We might have something that someone else may lack and someone else might be endowed with the qualities, which we lack.
This incompleteness makes us go out and seek companions who make us feel loved, wanted and complete. Oh what a great feeling! Would we experience it if we were inside the cocoon of our perfection? Never! So accept yourself the way you are. It will free your mind of a heavy baggage of unnecessary worries. You will instantly feel light and cheerful.
Liberate yourself - Go out and do what you like!
How long it has been since you last went to have a walk among the pines – something that you loved as a child? How long has it been when you walked hand in hand with your friend to the bakery and tossed a coin to decide what to buy? These might seem very simple things but these simple things have the power to add on to build great confidence and fulfilment.
Life if see is actually quite simple. What gets a bit too complex though is to remain simple. Isn’t it? Just as small drops of water make the mighty ocean, the little things you enjoy doing have the capability to turn you into a storehouse of confidence. When God made you, He put a desire in your heart and bestowed onto you the capability to achieve it.
However, in the process of growing up, you forgot what exactly was your purpose, what is that you liked and what is that you enjoyed doing. It does happen with lots and lots of people who do feel like breaking free but are too tied up in their day to day responsibilities that it gets impossible for them to spare even 10 minutes to reflect on their lives, their direction, their dreams and goals. It’s our duty to clear the mess that prevents us from hearing to our heart.
The conversations with your heart should keep getting clearer and the best way to do it is to find time to do what you enjoy. And since you enjoy doing that activity, it straightaway means that you have all the aptitude and intelligence necessary to do the job effortlessly even though you may not realize it.
Find your flock
Birds of a feather flock together. You must find out people with whom you enjoy being. They are certainly the people of your frequency and the energy flow between you and them is natural.
Life becomes easy when you are among the people who are more or less on the same plane of thought as you and it’s easier to relate to them. They seem to understand you and vice versa thus creating conditions for healthy conversations. A good conversation is a very healthy exercise and an important need of our mind. We all want our ideas to be heard and appreciated and a good company provides platform for the same.
Set Achievable Goals and Go for it!
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The idea is to begin with a small single step that can then further developed into giant strides. Learn to do the work at hand rather than to overwhelm oneself by looking at the entirety of a mammoth looking task. Just like the soil underneath your foot, the top of mountain too would someday be under your step.
The only way to do something is to Go For It! No matter how small the progress is the focus should be on completing a task successfully even though it’s a small task. A series of big uncompleted task is a sure shot way to depression. Break a big task into a list of small tasks to be completed. Tick off from your list each job successfully completed. A completed task no matter how small it is gives a sense of achievement that boosts our confidence and equips us with more energy to try a bigger task.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
The Key to Self-Esteem
Self-esteem, like happiness, is a state of mind. It can make you feel happy, cheerful and confident. It can also make you feel worthless, unwanted and weak. Self-esteem can best be compared to a powerful battery. When the battery is fully charged, the individual feels confident and raring to go; when the battery is run down the individual feels low and wants to hide.
So how do you inculcate a sense of self-belief in yourself? You will be making a big mistake if you start seeing yourself as the most important man in your field. This cannot be called self-belief or self-esteem. Instead it is conceit, and as everyone knows conceit is a dangerous quality. It generates false confidence, which often becomes a source of woes.
What you need is healthy self-esteem. This means that you should look at yourself as an individual who is at par with his peer group, who has nothing to feel ashamed of, and who looks at all issues with a positive frame of mind. Healthy self-esteem also means that you are able to differentiate between humility and self-effacement, between arrogance and modesty, between complacency and hyperactivity.
However, to do so you must learn to accept yourself as any other individual who will have some strengths and some weaknesses, and who will have some good days and some bad days. You must learn to ride out the good with the bad. Most important, you must believe in the clich̩d saying that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. It will give you the confidence and self-belief that every individual needs in his bad moments. This is what self-esteem is all about Рa self-belief in oneself.
Those who sit and mope can never feel happy. The same applies to those who blame the fate for their ills. Their energies are consumed by negative emotions. These emotions are like a whirlpool. They suck you deeper and deeper till you loose all semblance of self-respect and self-confidence.
Don’t allow mistakes or failures to overwhelm you. Similarly, don’t allow guilt to eat away your happiness. Accept your mistakes. It will make you feel much better. You must always remember that you loose self-esteem when you try to run away from problems and challenges. Such behavior makes you weak. It also causes your self-esteem to dip. In contrast, your self-esteem soars when you overcome a difficult situation.
Another important thing about self-esteem is the need to look at it as a single entity. Many people derive great happiness from their accomplishments. Their self-esteem rises when they are in the company of people who acknowledge their success. However, the same self-esteem plunges when they are in a family group where they are not accepted with the same degree of warmth. They feel unhappy, and neglected, and avoid mixing with their family members. This is escapism. It will gnaw away an individual’s self-esteem till he becomes lonely and unhappy. It will also impact on his professional work at some point of time or the other.
To improve your self-esteem, you also need to be fair to yourself. Very often individuals are very harsh on themselves when things go wrong. They plunge into a state of depression, and allow guilt to consume them. It is quite possible that their decision may have brought misfortune upon a family or a company that trusted them. But over-reaction will not change things. All individuals must judge their actions fairly. Self-flagellation is the worst form of defeat. It weakens individuals, and destroys their self-esteem.
Thursday, February 1, 2007
Recipe For Success - How Are You Going To Reach Your Dreams?
By Mark Tern
Life can be difficult and in everyday daunting tasks in the reach for your goals, you may be looking for some help that drops down uncertainty about your future. Read on to find out the six fundamental ingredients of your recipe for success. And see how the most important one, the seventh, is already at your hands.
1) Believe in Yourself
The higher the success you are aiming at, the harder will be the path to it. Many people already left in their own path to that very kind of success. Your path will be different from theirs if you’ll believe in yourself.
Remember that failure is common and is just a signal that you are going to do better next time. So remember this and don’t let that bring you down.
Understand your strengths and recognise your weakness, then exploit both: to make a difference when you have the opportunity, and to ask for help when times are going tough.
2) Be Realistic About The Results You Want
Being realistic with the results you want will increase your success likelihood. The same has to be with the kind of things you are going to do to reach your dreams. Don’t make things too hard at the start, or will be then harder for you persisting when time will come.
3) Identify Your Goals
Now that your dreams have been mitigated with a realistic approach, it’s time to set your goals. In fact without a direction you’ll go everywhere and anywhere. The most important ingredient of your recipe for success is to identify your goals. There are three things to do when you have identified each goal: write it down, set a plan for it and set a deadline. Remember: be realistic, and things will be easier.
4) Develop a Success Strategy
If you just apply the first three steps of your recipe to success and then get moving, you’ll get started in your pathway to reach your goals.
Your path won’t be easy, but being realistic will get you started. Keep persisting and you’ll reach your goal. To make this easier, you have to develop a Success Strategy that will keep you on road. You can discover The Five Pillars of Every Great Success Strategy at my website.
5) Go and Celebrate
Finally you have to work hard and persist along your plan. When a roadblock comes, find a different way to reach the same results. Remember: persistence in your goals, but change your actions if needed. Celebrating your victories will remind also yourself of the great job you are doing and that little fun will maintain that motivation that is needed to keep along until you reach your goal.
6) Increase Your Ability Along Your Way
Improving is what will ensure increasing performance along the way. This will increase your ability to cope with the challenges you are going to face and make things easier and easier. This will made every challenge a learning experience and, finally, will increase your speed and power. There are many effective programs available on the net to help you doing this. You can program yourself for success and create positive motivation in life for work, health and success on autopilot by just listening your way to success and abundance.
7) The Seventh Ingredient
There is a seventh ingredient in the recipe for success and this is happiness. It’s different than the other ones as it’s underlying everything you do and you think. Happiness is the great motivator and its expectancy makes us run towards our goals.
Well the good news is that happiness is really a condition of mind. And as every act of mind, you can create it at will. Happiness is already inside you and you have just to awake it. This is why no goal will make you really happy, unless you already are. If you won’t unlock the happiness inside you, no success will satisfy you. To find your happiness, just keep asking yourself what is making you happy right now in your life. Your mind will focus on it and will start creating it.
Finally…
Start your quest and remember to look for the happiness inside you. Develop your Success Strategy; increase your ability with appropriate tools and the recipe for success will support you in reaching your dreams. Do it now.
Discover the 101 free success strategies that will help you succeed in life at Mark Tern’s Success Strategy Tips website at http://success-strategy.thesolution2.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mark_Tern
Life can be difficult and in everyday daunting tasks in the reach for your goals, you may be looking for some help that drops down uncertainty about your future. Read on to find out the six fundamental ingredients of your recipe for success. And see how the most important one, the seventh, is already at your hands.
1) Believe in Yourself
The higher the success you are aiming at, the harder will be the path to it. Many people already left in their own path to that very kind of success. Your path will be different from theirs if you’ll believe in yourself.
Remember that failure is common and is just a signal that you are going to do better next time. So remember this and don’t let that bring you down.
Understand your strengths and recognise your weakness, then exploit both: to make a difference when you have the opportunity, and to ask for help when times are going tough.
2) Be Realistic About The Results You Want
Being realistic with the results you want will increase your success likelihood. The same has to be with the kind of things you are going to do to reach your dreams. Don’t make things too hard at the start, or will be then harder for you persisting when time will come.
3) Identify Your Goals
Now that your dreams have been mitigated with a realistic approach, it’s time to set your goals. In fact without a direction you’ll go everywhere and anywhere. The most important ingredient of your recipe for success is to identify your goals. There are three things to do when you have identified each goal: write it down, set a plan for it and set a deadline. Remember: be realistic, and things will be easier.
4) Develop a Success Strategy
If you just apply the first three steps of your recipe to success and then get moving, you’ll get started in your pathway to reach your goals.
Your path won’t be easy, but being realistic will get you started. Keep persisting and you’ll reach your goal. To make this easier, you have to develop a Success Strategy that will keep you on road. You can discover The Five Pillars of Every Great Success Strategy at my website.
5) Go and Celebrate
Finally you have to work hard and persist along your plan. When a roadblock comes, find a different way to reach the same results. Remember: persistence in your goals, but change your actions if needed. Celebrating your victories will remind also yourself of the great job you are doing and that little fun will maintain that motivation that is needed to keep along until you reach your goal.
6) Increase Your Ability Along Your Way
Improving is what will ensure increasing performance along the way. This will increase your ability to cope with the challenges you are going to face and make things easier and easier. This will made every challenge a learning experience and, finally, will increase your speed and power. There are many effective programs available on the net to help you doing this. You can program yourself for success and create positive motivation in life for work, health and success on autopilot by just listening your way to success and abundance.
7) The Seventh Ingredient
There is a seventh ingredient in the recipe for success and this is happiness. It’s different than the other ones as it’s underlying everything you do and you think. Happiness is the great motivator and its expectancy makes us run towards our goals.
Well the good news is that happiness is really a condition of mind. And as every act of mind, you can create it at will. Happiness is already inside you and you have just to awake it. This is why no goal will make you really happy, unless you already are. If you won’t unlock the happiness inside you, no success will satisfy you. To find your happiness, just keep asking yourself what is making you happy right now in your life. Your mind will focus on it and will start creating it.
Finally…
Start your quest and remember to look for the happiness inside you. Develop your Success Strategy; increase your ability with appropriate tools and the recipe for success will support you in reaching your dreams. Do it now.
Discover the 101 free success strategies that will help you succeed in life at Mark Tern’s Success Strategy Tips website at http://success-strategy.thesolution2.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mark_Tern
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Building Self Esteem
People have low esteem for a variety of reasons. Some individuals suffer from poor body image and focus on all the negative traits of their physical appearance. Others have emotional issues that have caused their self esteem to drop or feel themselves unworthy of any praise.
For whatever reasons your self esteem may falter, the key to building it up again is to find the root of the problem. Think of self esteem like a house, if you build a stunning house on a poor foundation, the entire structure will crumble. However, if you take steps to ensure the foundation is strong and capable of holding anything, the process may be slow, but your self esteem will be built soundly.
Often, individuals in a abusive relationship have their self esteem shattered when a supposed loved one constantly berates them and questions their worth. Similarly, a negative workplace environment can lower your self esteem with colleagues or bosses finding fault with your work.
Maybe you have a friend who is consistently negative with all surrounding him or her. Whatever the source, distancing yourself from the negativity will help you regain your self esteem. Strive to surround yourself with positive people. If you are going through a rough time in your personal life, you may wish to join a support group.
Often, speaking with a qualified individual can help you determine the root of your problem and the necessary path you should take for the rebuilding process. Perhaps your problems dates back to childhood, or maybe it has recently developed. Whatever the case, a professional will be able to best determine your next step.
A main factor in self esteem is negativity. Negative thoughts can pervade your confidence and crumble your self esteem. If you find yourself surrounded by negative people or in a negative situation, try to best remedy the problem.
Similarly, there are support groups available for individuals with self image issues. These groups will allow you to meet other individuals like yourself and provide a forum for you to sound your hopes and achievements.
However you choose to begin building your self esteem, do so today! Be thorough and consistent with the process and be aware it may take a while. You should not become impatient or despondent if you find your self esteem slipping. Remember, you are an important and worthy person and should treat yourself as such.
Self esteem is your own personal view of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Everyone has a different view of themselves, but keeping a positive outlook will benefit you more than a negative one. Many individuals suffer from low self esteem for a variety of reasons and need to build their self esteem in order to succeed in life.
Remember, the only one who can make you excel is you and no one else. The same goes for self esteem. The only person who can build up—or consequentially tear down—your self esteem is you. Although other individuals may aide the process, the end decision is yours.
Friday, January 12, 2007
The Importance Of Self Confidence
What is Self Confidence?
To be able to achieve a goal you need skills, discipline, determination, capability and self confidence. Self confidence comes from having the right kind of skills and clarity of goals to be achieved. The clearer the goal, the better the focus of mind and self confidence. Nothing great was ever achieved by people who lacked confidence.
A capable body and mind will not function to their greatest potential if not backed by self confidence. Self confidence, hence, is the pivot on which all the creative and analytical abilities of the mind rest on. Low self confidence can impair the functioning of both the body and mind, resulting in failure. Self confidence is the measure of one’s collective ability to march right ahead to achieve a said goal.
The visibility factor
Self confidence has a way of being visible. You can tell by observing the very manner of a person walking, communicating, working, socializing, as to whether he is confident or not. The very first handshake with a person will tell her level of self confidence. A self-confident person truly stands apart. Drooping shoulders, falling jaws, undecided steps are not the characteristics of a confident person.
Confidence is infectious; the very presence of a self-confident person tends to charge up the air around him. Everything automatically falls in place for a confident person, and the world stands apart for the man who walks with sure, confident steps. A confident person commands respect as well.
Self Confidence – the basis of all achievement!
Great things are seldom achieved without necessary confidence. All the skills and efforts possible are useless if confidence is lacking. Low confidence halts your steps and you cannot take initiative. Low self confidence paralyzes both the body and mind at the time of making decision. It leaves you undecided and the undecided are swept away. There is no place for the undecided in this world where success is worshipped, and success seldom comes to someone who is undecided. As the old saying goes, you must stand for something or you will fall for anything – and it’s your confidence that holds you together or breaks you apart.
Confidence isn’t genetic nor it is hereditary. Nobody is born confident. Confidence is acquired. Confidence is learned. Confidence is improved. Confidence is practiced. And confidence can be generated. You need to first realize the importance of confidence before you can make any efforts to get better with it. It’s very much in your hands to develop a self-confident behavior.
Confidence brings out the fighter in you
It is said that one has to take risks to achieve something. There’s no gain without pain, as we’ve all heard. So what is it that enables one person to go ahead and take risks while another is held back? Yes, it’s the level of confidence that makes people come out and lead from the front without caring for failure. It’s this belief in oneself that differentiates achievement from failure. It’s sometimes the bald guy who takes the girl because he has something more than the handsome guys around – yes, you guessed it right, he oozes self confidence that makes the lady weak in her knees!
Confidence in themselves was behind scores of people who broke the shackles of a well- paying, “secure” job to pursue their dream of creating something, being something and ended up building great businesses. Surely what turned these seemingly ordinary men and women who were stuck in the nine-to-five ordeal into successful entrepreneurs was nothing but a belief in their dreams and immense self-confidence!
In today’s world of competition, confidence isn’t just an asset. It forms the very basis of your survival. Getting a good job means you need to be confident in the interview. Getting a raise, again, needs you to be confident at work. The confident ones are the ones who get attention. Attention brings acceptance and acceptance brings love, peace and energy that make you efficient. Efficiency makes you an achiever and achievement makes you even more confident.
And when you are confident, can happiness and riches be far behind? Make sure that you are never out of this magical spiral. Believe in yourself, get going; tell yourself that you have it in you. Because ultimately the one who wins is the one who thinks he can!
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